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My son is mean to his sister

First off I know kids have phases, my son is 2 years old so I know he is in his terrible 2's right now. My son likes to take his toy cars and throw them at his 4 year old sister head. We have taken his toys away when he starts the throwing and have done time out but this doesn't seem to stop it. He thinks it's funny to chase my daughter around threatening to throw the toy at her and then he ends up doing it. I stop him as soon as I see him hold the toy over his head and walk toward my daughter but I don't always catch him. I know he loves his sister as they do play well together and they get along all of the other times until he gets into his throwing mood. Anyone know what else I can do to get him out of this since time out and taking the toy away is not working.

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Asked by hosein at 9:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 8 (216 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • have you tried time out? or making him go to his room?

    Answer by DarlingDivaTutu at 9:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Yes and he is stubborn and doesn't learn. His room is full of toys so that doesn't work as he just starts playing so it doesn't feel like a punishment to him.

    Comment by hosein (original poster) at 9:20 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I'd be more concerned with the reaction of your son laughing at his sisters pain then the actual act of throwing. Your son doesn't seem to grasp the concept that he's causing someone else physical pain, and that's more then likely why the behavior continues. Although I do not suggest chucking a toy at his head, it is quite possible that what he needs is to experience pain himself and then be taught how this is what he's doing to his sister. Maybe the next time he falls and is in discomfort you can use the opportunity to act out a scenario where he causes the same pain in his sister. Explain his sisters boo-boo after having a car chucked at her is just as painful as his boo-boo from falling. I would also let him know very directly it is NOT ok to hurt his sister or make her cry. Lack of empathy seems to be the underlying issue here and its a great age to start learning what that word means.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:43 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I will have to try and remember next he falls or runs into something (since for some reason he seem to be good at not watching where he is going) to bring up him hitting his sister. We do make him tell her sorry and give her a hug but he is so stubborn. He is usually very loving and they are always hugging and holding hand but this throwing thing is just becoming a pain. He throw his cars at us as well but my main concern is for my daughter. I really hope this phase goes away soon.

    Comment by hosein (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My son went through the biting phase, not so much the throwing. And it didn't matter how many times we did time out or said stop or made him apologize he did not get the concept until I bit him back. Obviously I did not bite as hard as he had, but I was fed up and NOTHING was working, so one day when he bit I grabbed his hand and bit back. He was more appalled then hurt, and then I explained when he bit mommy it hurt and made her cry, just like mommy biting him made him cry. We made a big deal about his ouchie and my ouchie. That stuck with him, he never bit anyone again and would explain to others how biting hurts. Since throwing plastic causes more pain then biting its harder to show your son but I bet if you can break that lack of understanding it might help. Good luck, I'm sure it'll get better with age, maturity, and the ability to understand cause and effect.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 10:01 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • My son bit me once and I did the same and bit him back but also not hard just enough for him to understand. He hasn't bit us again so I guess he switched to the throwing instead. The plastic cars wouldn't be as bad but he goes for the metal cars and they hurt alot more. Darn Lightning Mcqueen.

    Comment by hosein (original poster) at 10:07 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • HAHA I understand that! We have over 300 matchbox cars and although I haven't had one thrown at me I have stepped on them numerously in awkward positions. I think "Flo" and "snotrod" are worse then Mcqueen because they have the spoliers and pipes that stick up. I bruised my foot on them once lol.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I would let my daughter hurt him. He needs to learn what it feels like.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I agree Flo does hurt the worse out of all of them, it's the back part of her car. My daughter wouldn't hurt her brother, she is one of the really girly girls and not ruff at all. My son knows how hurt feels as he has run into many doors and a few months ago our bird got his
    finger pretty good, he did learn that day not to touch the bird and since that day he has not. He is just being stubborn about these darn cars and sometimes other objects.

    Comment by hosein (original poster) at 11:32 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Throw away all of his cars

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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