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What do you think?????

My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and have two boys together. Last week, he told me that he loves me but not in love with me, he's been unhappy for the last 2 years, and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I found out that he had an emotinal. possibily sexual sexual relationship with another woman he works with. There has been a lot a financial problems lately because he work and I don't. He wants me to get a job, but we won't be able to afford daycare. One minute he's telling me that he loves me and the next he says that he doesn't want to be with me. This has really driven me crazy. He said that he made up his mind, about us, but continues to show otherwards. What do you think he's trying to do and what should I do?

Answer Question
 
nikared69

Asked by nikared69 at 1:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You need to try marriage counseling.
    mamastefl

    Answer by mamastefl at 1:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I've suggested marriage counseling and he says that he doesn't thik that it will change anything, then the next minute he agrees. When I asked him again, he said that the only reason why he agreed was to keep me quiet, but he doesn't want to go at all.
    nikared69

    Answer by nikared69 at 1:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Is there somewhere you could move, say with your parents? Is there a family member who could keep the kids for a smaller amount (a fraction of what daycare costs)?
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 2:06 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I have a family memeber but he's out of school for the summer, other than that, I have nothing.
    nikared69

    Answer by nikared69 at 2:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • he's trying to get you to get a job so he can feel OK that if you guys broke up, you would be financially OK. Sounds like he wants out, but doesn't want to leave you on the street.
    isaboo22

    Answer by isaboo22 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • he wants his cake and to eat it too... You should get your shit together asap( as in your life) because you never knowwhat the next day brings.
    REDD77

    Answer by REDD77 at 4:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • he is playing mind games with u that is what guys do an if he really loved u he wound not be doing the things he is do so u need to one have a family member an see if the can watch the kid so u can get a job an be indepent thats what i would do if i where u an if ur parent don't then u need to see about a babysitter or something think out side of the box
    sarahmarie948

    Answer by sarahmarie948 at 4:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Actions always speak louder than words. Men fall in love with what they see, women fall in love with what they hear. Don't listen to him and don't take what he says to heart. His actions will guide you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • If he says he doesn't want to go the couseling then you should go yourself. If he doesn't want to change it doesn't mean you can't!
    mamastefl

    Answer by mamastefl at 11:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I think he has probably has cheated and he has been with you for a very long time so it is VERY hard to let go. He wants to but he remembers the good times and thats why he can't fully let go. I am kinda in that boat right now with my hubby :( it SUCKS! I love him but we are so different and we have just grown apart. I tell him I don't think we should be together but then we make up and then a week later it's the same issues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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