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2 Bumps

Parents arent going to my wedding, advice please.

My parents were aglow when I told them I was engaged. Wedding plans underway with a guy they love, someone who has blessed our family in so many ways, from helping my brother get into an AA program that saved his life, to being a father to the two boys I have from a previous relationship, he has been a God send, and I still think that. We have been together two years, he was my best friend that I refused to date before that. We became engaged on thanksgiving. Two months later, with a wedding date planned for 9-10-11 God has a funny way of being able to turn your life upside-down. Its ok though, really. I found out I am pregnant. Due date 9-9-11. Lol right? Well, Bryce and I are ecstatic, his family too. We planned to move the wedding date up, keep the plans the same just a sooner date. Thats when my mom drops a bomb. 'Its a disgrace to get married pregnant. Its a disgrace to walk down the isle and flaunt my baby belly, its a joke. Do you even love him or are you just getting married to get married? Your not a princess Shannon. Dad and I wont go, and you will not be inviting anyone from my family to this Joke of a wedding. Lets talk Saturday shall we?' I have always been close to my family. What the hell did I do wrong? A baby is a blessing from God, what makes this different then my other two? They didn't push me then into marrying that man. Which ended up being a good thing because my boys bio dad went down a bad path. But please, advice ladies? I am down, lost and just really want to give up. I love this man, I love his family, I am... or I was, happy with life. We own a five bedroom house, I am in college full time for Elementary Ed, I run a successful business he has a great job, what is so wrong with my life that this is a disgrace?

Answer Question
 
slmolter

Asked by slmolter at 11:20 PM on Jan. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (76 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If your mom doesn't want to go to your wedding its her loss and she can't ban you from who you invite let them make up their minds on if they want to go or not.

    Sorry that your going through this but the bottom line is your getting married and its all about you and your husband and not anyone elses opinion on the matter.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 11:25 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • If they don't want to go because of their feelings, what can you honestly do? Their feelings are their feelings. I would have responded with, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and left them alone.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:26 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • good luckgo for it!!! you don't want to be just another "baby mama" to a third kid, and your mom should be happy for you that this guy is not a looser. what would she have said if he got u preggers and left you? he sounds like a good guy, go for it. gl.

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • I'm so very sorry. Invite whomever you'd like to your wedding, and enjoy your day (and that new baby!)
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:47 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Its hard to explain, but I just feel like I cant do this without them. I cant believe they wont come, my fiance and I are pretty religious ppl, we go to church on sundays for 4 hours, and volunteer our time as much as possible. I just dont know if I can go through with all of this without them. My dad wont walk me down the isle... I am supposed to bring a new life into a family like this?
    slmolter

    Comment by slmolter (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • There's family.... and then there are the people you merely share a genetic heritage with. Your parents have become the latter. IT'S THEIR LOSS.

    Go ahead and invite anyone whom you please to invite. Your party. And you'll be doing a LOT without them as life goes on. It would be NICE to have them there... but the people who love you (and at the moment your parents don't qualify) will know the truth of the situation.

    You're bringing new life into the family you and your fiance are creating. It is the one that counts.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:56 PM on Jan. 14, 2011

  • Mothers!
    She will be SO SO SO sorry to miss your wedding but I bet a million bucks she'll want everything to do with this baby! So, plan for now, without Mom. Lean on the family that is excited. Tell Mom you're disappointed in her choice and you think she'll regret it but that you plan to go ahead with your happy plans despite her opinion. Sometimes, you have to cut the apron strings and this is one of those times. You can't let her ruin a very important and special day. It's about you two and although she'll be missed, you are starting a new family and you should focus there. (my guess: she'll come around) but don't stand for her insults.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:00 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Maybe she feels you both should have waited until after the wedding to start having children? Perhaps it is just the ideal her generation have about marriage and children that make her feel it is a disgrace. Whatever the reason, if she does not want to come, that is her choice. You only have power over your choices, and to throw away a great life you can have with a wonderful man because she is pouting would be detrimental. You are an adult with children and one on the way, you need to be the grown up and do what you KNOW is right. Perhaps she will come around, maybe not. You CAN do this without her. You should invite everyone you would like to invite. It is their choice whether or not they would like to come, not your mother's. Your family is your kids and fiancee, they need to come first, not your parents. I hope you find the strength to see it clearly for what it is.
    Allie428

    Answer by Allie428 at 12:16 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I don't know what your mother was thinking, but I do hope she will change her mind eventually. The fact that you and your children are happy says a lot. Invite who you want to. It's your wedding and as long as you know you will be happy, that's all that matters. Do you have any brothers and sisters, if so, what do they think about it? I do hope that it all works out in the end.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:48 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I have two brothers who will both be coming, they both love bryce. Especially the one that Bryce helped to become sober. Plus they stand behind me, like family should. I am taking your guys advice. I am stepping back from the situation, and letting it unfold accordingly. It amazes me though, it really does. It hurts as well, that my dad may not be walking me down the isle, but I will cross that bridge when we get there.
    slmolter

    Comment by slmolter (original poster) at 9:28 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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