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3 Bumps

if you had an affair got pregnant and your s/o decides to accept and raise that child as his own would you tell the child the truth about their paternity when they are old enough to understand, or would you keep it from them for life? i would tell the truth. what about you?

can of worms

 
gwen20

Asked by gwen20 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Honesty is the best policy. And the truth often has a way of coming out eventually. I would tell him or her. Why keep it from the kid? It isn't fair to play God with someone else's life. It isn't like the kid will no longer love your s/o. Just seems wrong to hide something from someone and make that decision for him or her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • well well lets see i am kinda in a situation like that now although i didnt have an affair . we DH and i got together i was already pregnant and we found out when i was 41/2 weeks along . He knew all along that our oldest child was not biologically his but he chose to stick by my side and raise her as his own. She has know her whole life that he was not her biological father but you can't tell either one of them that. He is her father reguardless of what anyone thinks or says He has been there pretty much since day one!!! so of course i would tell my child the child deserves to know the truth!
    mom_of_2_girlz

    Answer by mom_of_2_girlz at 1:19 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Tell the child. One thing I've found out, if you don't, there is someone who eventually will. Maybe not on purpose, but it will slip out! Better to be coming from you. In fact if you have pictures or information about that person, put it in a book for your child. That way it doesn't seem bad or that your child feels like an accident. Maybe I'm not explaining myself right. But if you have a book put together, at least some of their questions will be answered and it will help make them feel special, that you cared enough to make that moment of your child's life important. Am I making sense? LOL What do you want for being so late at night... I pray that this child will know that they are loved and proud that their mom was honest enough to tell them the truth. They're blessed to have you for a mom!!!

    WalknWithGod

    Answer by WalknWithGod at 1:16 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • tsk tskps.... this is not my situation, it's just a question....

    gwen20

    Comment by gwen20 (original poster) at 1:21 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I'd eventually tell them the truth. One thing that occurred to me was genetic history. If there was anything that ran in the father's family, the child should know about it so they can determine if they are at risk for certain diseases/conditions.
    tinamatt

    Answer by tinamatt at 12:30 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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