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Advice please? I have got to be blind...

This may be more of a rant but I want some advice : I feel invisible most days to my husband. Don't get me wrong he talks to me and things but well over 3 perhaps even 4 years I feel like we are roommates...unless he's got an itch and wants it scratched. Then its just jump right on it. I feel like I am missing something big- am I not doing things right or am I doing too much? I guess I have been brain washed that marriage the couple should still spark each other and have a twinkle in their eye for one another. I was really hoping it would resolve like it was a rut. 2 years of marriage should not have this problem. Talking it over hasn't helped. I try not to be I use the "I feel.." instead of " you make me feel". Any ideas other than marriage counseling? Its not that this is a divorce thing to me by any means but I do want a husband not a roommate that I get frisky with...weekly. sorry about the rant but I am looking for advice if you have any

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elyssek832

Asked by elyssek832 at 1:36 AM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,656 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • some people have that spark that stays then some dont. every relationship u have in life will be different. i have been in some that last & i feel in love even more than ever, then some are like the relationship youve mentioned. if u are not happy, try the counseling...everyone deserves to be happy. if u two dont feel each other anymore, there honestly could be someone out there for you who brings the feelings u desire. ive found that out & look back & wonder why i stayed stuck ' for so long.thats the reality of it.
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:40 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Thanks hellokitty, the reason I would stay "stuck" - and how dumb is this but I would feel like I failed and that I made my bed and now lie in it. I however do not want to be 76 and finally finding the one that lights me up. Damn two sided coin!
    elyssek832

    Comment by elyssek832 (original poster) at 1:45 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • after 25 yrs of marriage at the time my hubby has done the same thing he think nothing is wrong that i am over reacting
    so i started act like he was my brother yuk i know but it has worked
    i no longer call him sweety or honey hi bro how's it going
    at first he look like i was sick but if your going to treat me as your sister or mother then i will treat you like one of my kids
    i no longer sleep with my hubby he wanted sex i told him he had two hands a left and a right get to know them
    and it has payed off 6yrs later i am no longer my hubby sis but his wife we talk have great sex for two olded people
    yes he stills rocks my world will take you that long i can not tell but you need to ask what he wants out this marriage because the way it's going won't last and hear him out
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:50 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • yea, i know exactly what ur talking about!!!! & then life happens, & i was split up for reasons beyond my control...& i met someone perfect for me...& because i was so stuck on my ex that i feel i failed with & kids were involved, i ended up ruining what i had with someone else that WAS right for me. life sucks. love sucks . lol. really.
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:53 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Thank you dutch! I will try that because honestly my ways aren't working and talking is like pulling teeth but its gott abe done!
    elyssek832

    Comment by elyssek832 (original poster) at 1:53 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • The thing I love = each others first- sometimes is the thing I hate! I have no experience with anyone else so I have no idea if its a crappy situation or if I do indeed have it good. And what I think is crappy makes me unhappy which makes temptation all the worse. And I do not want to go there :(
    elyssek832

    Comment by elyssek832 (original poster) at 1:57 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • p.s.. but good luck to you. everything can be worked out if u guys both want that. its just what is important to u & what ur willing to put up with. all women worry they wont 'find someone else' thats usually not the case. were just fooling ourselves. but no one wants to end up alone. understandable.
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:59 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • i think everyone deserves to be happy! i have stayed put one too many times when i was just NOT happy. & when u least expect it, the right one really CAN come along. i have a lot of regrets in life from when i stayed put too long because i feared i wouldnt find anything better. aLOT of mature women even older than me will tell u that same thing
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 2:01 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

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