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My dad can be the greatest daddy but recently we have found out that he has been using drugs for 15 years. I have looked at shows thinking how did the family not know but honestly we did not because he hide it. He's con artist ways made us think that what we were seeing were not true. Last night my father had an moment where all of us were together as a family just spending time when my father went into a bad rage. Screaming and cussing in front of family and his young grandkids ranging from 9 months - 20years old. I need to figure out how to get him to counseling but most place want him to ask for help. We love him so much but can not let him destroy our kids and us . Please can anyone help us through we live in Dolton, Illinois.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Health

Answers (6)
    Best of luck to you and your family. You can call them 24/7.

    Answer by jen2774161 at 11:11 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I'm sorry your family is going through this. From what I understand, he has to be willing to get help. It cannot be forced and even if it were it likely wouldn't work. If he is having erratic outbursts and you are worried about younger people being around it, you will have to eliminate their exposure to him.

    Have you tried to talk to him about it?


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:14 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Last night is started as us telling him calmly why we need him to stop drinking and doing drugs . He listened for about 10 mins then screaming for two hours blocking the door and not letting us out then went storming out . At this moment we are trying to figure out if some place will help us to talk to him . Trained people who can get through his harsh exterior to break through whatever makes him be like this.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:17 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I would think that most treatment centers would have recommendations for interventionists to help you. If it comes down to doing an intervention, I believe they want the family members to have a clear idea of what they are willing to do to help. For example, if nothing changes about the relationships he has now, there is little reason for him to get help. If you really don't want him around when he is using, you have to make that a condition of him being able to spend time with the family. An interventionist may want you to be prepared to give him an ultimatum (like that he needs to be clean to be around children or even the entire family). If you go this route, you must follow through or they just become empty threats and that enables them to continue their behaviors.

    You may also want to look into support for the family, like Al-Anon or Narc-Anon (depending on his problems). Good luck.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:28 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • If you have children you have a responsibility not to expose them to that crap. Right now, he's not your daddy, he's whatever drug he's taking. You wouldn't set a lb of cocaine next to your kids, therefore you should NOT allow them near him until he's getting clean.

    As soon as he takes steps to become clean, then you can be as supportive as possible. There are some resources listed here that can help you, but don't have some kind of misguided idea that you need to spend time with a druggie.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:37 AM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • ive just been thru 8 years of this with my dh he is now clean of drugs thank goodness!!!

    Answer by san78 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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