Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I'm pregnant and I'm afraid that I won't even like, not to mention love the new baby!

I feel just awful that I'm not excited about being pregnant for the second time. When I saw that my test was positive I burst into tears! I have a 2 year-old daughter who is the total joy of my life and I was hoping to not get pregnant again. I had actually just called in a Rx for birth control the day before I found out! I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for 5 years but things tend to be rocky. My mom hinted toward abortion but won't come out and say it... my boyfriend is not working currently and for some reason didn't want me to tell anyone that I was pregnant, not even my mom! We decided to tell both our mom's and one of my friends because she came over for New Year's (and I couldn't drink so... I kinda HAD to tell her). I'm just not able to be excited, happy or anything positive about this pregnancy! I don't even have anyone that I can talk to about it because how does that sound? "Yea, so I'm pregnant... not so "woo hoo" happy about it but.. whatever... " I guess that's why I came here... Any suggestions on how to handle this or if I'm just some weirdo/freak who lacks that whole nurturing mother feeling that I'm supposed to have?

simple frown


Asked by summermommie2b at 12:04 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 6 (115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • theres alot of stress surrounding your preg. and it doesnt sound like youre getting a ton of support... you love your daughter so im sure youll love this baby,,, you just found out and are going through an adjustment period bc it was a surprise..give it some time and youll fall in love all over again!

    Answer by zperez0809 at 12:13 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Hun, I got pregnant with my last child at the age of 40, I was not planning on having any more children, I had two girls who were 9 and 10, It is devastating to have a pregnancy thrown at you without expecting it. I too cried for many months, then I had an amnio test done because of my age and they told me it was a boy, I felt so bad that God had granted me the boy I was missing and here I was crying about being pregnant. I know how you feel, but do not abort this baby, give it a fighting chance, everything will fall into place after you have him.

    Answer by older at 12:10 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I felt the same way, it took me a while to start beeing 'ok' with it. In the end you do whats right fot you. Theres a lot you need to consider: affording the baby, your relationship with bf. If you have an abortion: will you feel emberassed?, relieved?, bad?, sad? Ultimately its up to you. But make sure youre making the decision for you and not for anyone else

    Answer by leksismommy at 12:14 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • No, you are not a weirdo. You are just in a bad and dying relationship where you want to leave. But you didn't have enough courage to do. So now when you would have to stay there (because you are pregnant and you don't want to raise this kid alone). So you are upset because you feel yourself in a cage. It would be had to break up with your boyfriend even with your one child. But now the lock closed with this new pregnancy. At least you feel like this. If you can separate your feeling for your second child's sake and don't mix up the frustration because of your relationship and the joy of a new baby than you would be fine. It would be nice to do it ASAP if you are not really into abortion or adoption... Because this child in your tummy need all of your joy and support during your pregnancy:) If you feel you can save your relationship than go to a counsellor. If not leave him ASAP for your children and your sake. Hugs:)


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 12:14 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I'm having the same issue, I'm seven months pregnant. I went to see a counselor. He suggested I take pictures a I progress and all this other bull crap! I'm not buying it cause I know I DIDN'T WANT ANOTHER CHILD! Just seems like he doesn't get it! He said things may change once I have him. But I keep telling him they won't cause I don't want him! If I really wanted another kid do you think I would have waited six years? My daughter is six, and absolutely the only love of my life!

    I'd suggest seeing counselor it couldn't hurt, might not help but it won't hurt.

    Answer by prissysayshi at 12:30 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • You are only stuck if you choose to be stuck. Bottom line once again. No matter what precaustions we take there will always be risks to having sex that you accept when you choose to do so. No matter what the situation, unless it's rape. I got preg on the shot, so I'm not putting anyone down. There is a huge responsiblity that comes with sex.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • @summer - my 5th was totally unplanned and I had the hardest time getting excited about it. My husband and I had just decided we definitely didn't want any more and were ready to plan his vasectomy when we found out I was pregnant. I didn't "hate" the child I was carrying, but knew we really couldn't afford her and I did not enjoy pregnancy, at all. Towards the end of the pregnancy things got better - she was a girl and our 4th had been a boy so it was different and seeing all the cute little clothes, tiny diapers, etc. it's hard not to get excited. She's now 6 months old and a complete joy! I think God knew I was having trouble with the whole thing and gave me an "easy" baby because of it - He must have because she is almost always happy and content.
    Give it some time, find reasons to be excited - it will be nice for your daughter to have a sibling! Good luck!

    Answer by missanc at 1:09 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Funny, I get a vote down for encourage someone to own their actions. It's what brought me to my choice to keep my daughter. How is that bad?

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:18 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • If you werent considering anything but keeping this child. why ask the question of what to do with this? If keeping the baby is the only option than the only option is to wait until youre happy about the pregnancy

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I was a teen when I got prego both times. I was scared out of my mind. But as time went on I was ok. It will work out and when you feel the baby kick or see the ultrasound. When you see your baby for the first time you will fall in love al over agian. You have a child and you love and take care of her. I am a single mother of two and don't get me wrong it is hard but you can do it. We would like to have a man to stand beside us and help us but that is not alway how it works. So you need to find the strenght in yourself so you can be there for your kids. Good Luck!!!!

    Answer by LADYA1983 at 12:54 AM on Jan. 16, 2011