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Need your opinion on something PLEASE.....

Long story short (try too) one of my neighbours started giving me baby clothes... it started when they had a garage sale & they couldn't sell the clothes & offered them to me. The clothes are from their daughter who doesn't live there. So they started giving me more as her kids out grew the clothes and each time I would give her something as a thank you. One day their other daughter who lives 2 doors down gave my daughter a bike. As a thank you I went over & gave her $25.00 and that we couldn't accept it for free as it was reg. a $80.00 bike. I said thank you & pls take the $ which she did & then I mentioned maybe we could have a play date with our kids. That day her other sister was there and ever since we haven't received anymore baby clothes and its been about 9 months now and its weird. I feel weird now if I see them as I don't know if maybe the other sister was angry I gave money for the bike?? I shouldn't care but its bugging me I just feel like I shouldn't have asked about the play date cuz they obviously don't want to socialize & then maybe that sister is choked that I gave the other money. OK, what do ya think????

 
sarasmommy777

Asked by sarasmommy777 at 2:45 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 35 (70,598 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I would not fret over it to much at all. maybe things came up, maybe something is happening in their life and they just do not feel like being social. Or, maybe it did offend them, and for that all you can do is say to yourself, geeze, I made an attempt to be friendly and respectful and it didn't go the way I planned. Maybe they just do not have any baby stuff to give away, or they are giving it to a closer family member in need. There could be a million possibilities! If you want to, maybe in passing some day you can say hello, let them know that you meant no disrespect by giving them the money, and that you would still like to be friends. Theres really nothing more to do.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 2:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I really don't think it's anything you did...they could just be wrapped up in life circumstances. Maybe you could go over there and pay them a visit and ask how things are going and that you were worried since it's been a long time since you've seen them in a while.

    It would probably be really sweet if you brought a thoughtful gift over when you did this...and to mention that you really appreciated all the thoughtful things they've done for you and your kids before and that you don't expect gifts, but would like their friendship. Just some ideas:)
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 2:48 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I think you did nothing wrong. and it is just between them so just do not worry about things and just do what you were doing before all this.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 2:51 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Well if you care and want to have a freindly relationship with her and have your kids play, I'd just ask her if you said or did something to upset her. Or, your just go the other way and let things slide and pretend nothing is wrong and try to be friendly and see how she accepts your jesture. Either way she'll soon let you know if she wants to be feiendly or not.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I honestly wouldn't worry about it, I don't think it was rude at all for you to offer money for that bicycle.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 2:51 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I think that the ONLY way you're ever going to know the truth, is by asking them. It could very well be that your neighbor has a friend or relative who needs the clothes. You could either talk to them about it or just don't worry about it and move on.
    Kerrigan357

    Answer by Kerrigan357 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • IDK- sounds like you could be right about the dau who gives away the clothes. But if they said you could "HAVE" them, then that tells me they werent expecting payment, they were just being neighborly. As for the bike, it was nice of you to offer payment, and neighborly to want to set a play date. Next time you see them out, just start w/ some chit chat & feel out what type of mood they're in toward you. I wouldnt lose sleep over it. If the dau gives you more clothes, maybe bake her some cookies, or get her a $20-25, restaurant gift card to say thanks.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Honestly, it probably has nothing to do with you. It could be that they're giving the clothes to the sister or someone else, or they just haven't been over yet to give them to you. It wouldn't hurt to say "Hi" to them when you see them outside and try to socialize a little more. Again, it's probably nothing to do with you. They just got caught up in their own things.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:55 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Ya I would but I don't get that feeling from them its on HI's when we see them & more in the summer. i feel so weird now almost like one of the sister thought "well screw her she is giving you $ when I gave her so many clothes?" kind of thing? IDK I never asked for the clothes to begin with and always gave something for them cuz thats just how & thankful. I am if she donates them anyways she would get nothing? I feel like that day just ruined everything & almost like an avoidance so we don't have to discuss hanging out as they had a falling out with a lady up the street & I think this is why too.
    sarasmommy777

    Comment by sarasmommy777 (original poster) at 2:53 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I do feel better reading your responses but I do feel like I blew it maybe being overly nice or in the sis' eyes maybe she didn't feel it was a fair thing with the cash IDK! why do I care so much? I know I didn't do anything wrong if anything I am very considerate for offering stuff back for the clothes& showing thanks. I think I scared her off with the play date offer as she is not interested & p'd off the other sister. She is not giving the clothes to the sister as she has no boys. I am going to drive myself crazy it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't live 2 doors down. Whatever I guess......
    sarasmommy777

    Comment by sarasmommy777 (original poster) at 3:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

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