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What would make him only want sex once a month?

For over a year now, my husband and I have only been having sex once a month. I have been practically begging him for more and tonight I put my foot down and told him I need more, either from him or elsewhere. I feel that I shouldn't have to beg him. Otherwise, we have a great relationship. I take care of our daughter and 4 of his kids from another marriage and I do alot for him. He is 31 and I am 25, he isn't on drugs, and I am pretty sure he isn't cheating. I am just fed up. I do alot to make him happy and I feel he should atleast try to do more for me. We go to therapy that is mainly for our kids, but the therapist wants to see just us two on her next appt. I want to bring all of this up, but he has asked me not to. By the way, when I bring it up, he says he doesn't know why, either that or he has sex with me just to shut me up.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Is he not physically attracted to you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • My dh got like this when he was cheating on me...both times. Sorry. Not trying to rain on your day. I'm just bitter lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I stopped wanting to have sex with my dh when he gained 50 lbs. I hated that I felt that way, but his pregnant looking belly really turned me off. I really am not trying to be mean so don't take it that way, but has anything changed with you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • He goes to work and comes straight home every day. I am thinking that he may not be physically attracted to me anymore. I'ts the only thing I can come up with. Maybe and that he doesn't want to tell me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • MAYBE HE DOESN'T ENJOY IT. THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE TO DO IT MUCH. DID YOU TRY ASKING HIM WHAT KINDS OF THINGS HE WANTS YOU TO DO. BECAUSE MAYBE THAT ONE TIME A MONTH YOU GET TO DO IT, YOU'RE SO SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED THAT YOU JUST WANNA GET IT OVER WITH BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD AT HIM FOR NOT WANTING TO DO IT. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SO YOU JUST DO IT KINDA SELFISHLY BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE HE DOESN'T WANT IT ANYWAY.............. SO........... TRY ASKING HIM WHAT KIND OF THINGS HE WANTS YOU TO DO SO THAT HE MIGHT ENJOY IT. IF HIS ANSWER IS STILL LEAVE ME ALONE I JUST DONT WANT TO..... THEN I WOULD BRING IT UP TO THE COUNSELOR BECAUSE IT IS PART OF YOUR MARRIED LIFE. AND THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY WOULD BE WHEN THE KIDS AREN'T THERE. DONT LET IT PASS YOU BY.
    rochellejames

    Answer by rochellejames at 12:15 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • For starters how old is your daughter? There r a few things that could be going on, He could be having problem's with equipment, or he could have issue's after seeing you give birth to something that big this happens to some guy's they think they can't compete with that, or he could have homonal imbalance that causes u to not want it, or as they said above me, cheating but don't think the worst, sit down and ask him if he is having any of these issues that way you know, guy's get imberrased about things like that, so be easy asking him!
    supermomof924

    Answer by supermomof924 at 12:39 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • He might have a low libido which could be caused by a variety of different things. If you are a Christian try the website www.themarriagebed.com
    happymom629

    Answer by happymom629 at 12:56 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Could he be depressed? Or is he on any medications?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • He doesn't happen to be an athlete and train for certain events, does he? I know this may sound weird, but some athletes/trainers time their sex/orgasms so their testosterone levels are in sync with their workouts and stuff. Just a weird thought I'm throwing out.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 1:28 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • how often does he look at porn?
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 2:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

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