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2 Bumps

sisterly love?

I have a 19 year old sister and she has been dating this loser for 3 yrs. Ever since she got with him she has transformed into this person i don't even know. growing up i was really close to her. I acted as if she we my baby. she was always a good girl and did well in school. after meeting this guy her grades dropped, and she started ditching school a lot. no one can tell her anything and if they do she cops an attitude. she constantly calls me and cries to me telling me issues she and her so called bf have. they are always on and off. he is abusive toward her and she covers for him. he is also very disrespectful. he uses her as a taxi and he probably uses her for sex too. bottom line he is scum! she called me just the other day and told me she broke up with him. i told her that i was happy for her and now she can live her life. i also told her that if she went back to him i wouldn't speak to her anymore. i know its her life and all but it hurts me the way she is being treated, and its also sad that she thinks this is the best she can do. anyways, i tried calling her today and she didn't answer. she text me back and told me she was with him. i haven't responded. I'm not sure what to do. any advice for me or for her???

 
Christieluv0614

Asked by Christieluv0614 at 5:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,524 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Keep in contact with her. She may not come to you anymore when she needs you since you told her you didn't want to talk to her anymore if she got back with him. I know it's hard on you to see her abused and used like she is, but you may be the only person she can turn to. She needs someone to be there for her when it finally goes bad for good. Keep working on her self-esteem, letting her know that she's strong enough to ditch this guy. It may take a long time, but with your support, she can do it.
    VanBurren

    Answer by VanBurren at 8:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • You must resume contact with her. You love her. When she is a little older she may mature enough to make better decisions. I know you are hurting.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:08 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Regardless of her choice in men, you are her sister. That is not something that I would be willing to compromise. Maybe one day she will wake up and smell the roses. But she will always remember who was there for her when she did, and when she was stupid.
    LizzieAnnesMom

    Answer by LizzieAnnesMom at 5:36 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Don't allow this guy to come between the love of sisters. She needs you and your support. She needs to know you will always be there for her no matter what choices she makes. Hopefully with time she will realize that she deserves so much better. But, in the meantime knowing she has someone to talk to, turn to, and help is something that she will always need. I hope things get better.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 5:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I would say try to go round more and dissuade her away from this man gently. Don't outright say it just start going round more and perhaps commenting that certain things aren't right. Let her know that you love her.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 5:13 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • You and your sister needs to stay incontact with each other at all times no matter what because that your sister and you both need each other
    tinamarie1972

    Answer by tinamarie1972 at 5:31 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • This looser wants you to go away so he can have total control over your sister.That is what abusive men do.Stay in touch.and pick up the pieces when she comes to her senses.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 6:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I think you should still be in contact with your sister, and let her know that even though you think it is a big mistake to go back with this looser, she is your sister, and you love her and will always be there for her. (if he is an abuser he will try to isolate her, so please stay in contact with her and let her know she has an 'out' if she ever needs it!). Hopefully she will come to her senses and see what a jerk he is and dump him for good!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 6:42 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Keep in contact. She needs you and you need her. It's times like these that you together deepen your sisterly bond. You can not keep her away from the scum bag, but you can have a shoulder for her to cry on. She seems young and will move on eventually. But in the mean time to urn all bridges with her would be more harmful than good.
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 1:10 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I would stop talking to her for a while. Sometimes tough love is the best thing.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 2:02 PM on Jan. 16, 2011