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2 Bumps

It's just a touch so, should I say something or no big deal?

So I stay on a military base. So everytime I go off base and come back on, I have to drive through a gate. Well whenever I come through, there is this guard who always, like touches or partially grab my hand when he gives me my ID card back. Now at first I was like I am just being paranoid or reading into it. But the next time I saw him I gave him my card and I was holding the corner just so he didn't have to touch me. But he still manage to put his hand on top of mine. I have gone through military gates almost everyday for over 13 years. I even worked at a military gate for several years after I got out of the military. So deep down I know the way he gives my card back is basically flirting. But he doesn't say anything to me inappropriate. So I asked a male friend his opinion and he said I better say something to him or he will probably try something else. But I am like I don't see the guy all the time. And what would I say? But once I was going out the gate and I saw he was at that gate. So when I went back on base I drove all the way down to another gate just so I didn't have to deal with it. So what do you think should I say something or no big deal?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It depends how much it's bothering you. Nothing wrong with speaking up, but address it to him FIRST. You can try pulling away from his touches at first. Then, just ask him, "Is there a reason you touch me when you hand me my card?" See if he even realizes it. Say it nicely, so that he doesn't take it wrong, but so that he knows you know he is doing it. That may end it, but if not, ask him to stop.

    Answer by mrskrisher at 9:52 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • wear gloves next time
    and make as little or no eye contact as well
    possible to borrow a huge dog for the back seat- or is this not allowed on base

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Dont' make anything of it, if he is flirting, he will love that and if he is not, you will look stupid. I would just not pay him any attention. Be on the phone or something when you drive through so that you barely seem to notice he is there

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:15 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • i would say something.

    Answer by SolaraDarkset at 9:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • well i think someone has a crush on you.... i dont know about him trying something more but if it makes you uncomfortable and you arent attracted to him id let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and would like him to stop.

    Answer by laura970 at 9:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I see no big deal in it. When ever I go on the military base they touch my hand as well. Its always someone different.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:42 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Report it. We had the civilian company out here, off post military housing. They no longer work here. None. Too many of them were 'flirting' with the wives. Rumors went around that some slept with some wives. I had some hit on me. But, they all left fast. Now we only have MP's. You need to call it in. He's getting away with it. Call it in because it's making you uncomfortable, and he has no reason to touch you. It could be innocent, but, it makes you uncomfortable.
    One of the guards took to calling me 'trouble' and would always ask me what I was doing that day. One, as I pulled up, said 'well hello beautiful!'. One, at a gate to main post, told me I was beautiful. But, I wasn't feeling good that day, and wasn't smiling. He said something about me not smiling, and I said I didn't feel good. I think he said that to try to make me feel better. Inappropriate, but, I think he meant well.
    Touching isn't cool.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:09 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • use a grabber.... he will get the point

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:21 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I would say something and soon.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 2:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Thanks everyone for your help. I think if he grabs my hand again I will have to say something. But if it is just a touch I will just rub it off. I don't want to tell the hubby because he is overseas and he might overreact and hurt the guy. But thanks again.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2011