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What's the difference between settling and compromising?

When looking for your mate, everyone has a set of criteria that must be met. Kind, considerate, thoughtful, whatever. However, what is the difference between settling and compromising in a relationship?

If he's kind, considerate and thoughtful, but doesn't have strong opinions or beliefs, is being with him compromising or settling?


Asked by mrskrisher at 9:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,889 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Compromise is when you agree with the end result, knowing you gave something up but you can live with it and usually someone else gives something up. Settling to me is more like giving up either for peace, to be done with a situation, whatever but you aren't satisfied.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:23 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I would guess to settle means nothing goes your way at all. And to compromise means you meet half way.

    Answer by idaspida at 9:44 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Good answer, idaspida. I think also it's your attitude...if you're "settling", then eventually you will probably feel resentful, as if you gave up something you really wanted. Compromising strikes me more like coming to a truce (even if it's with yourself) and something you can be at peace with.

    Answer by vicesix at 9:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • IMO to settle means you think you can do better but are either tired of looking or think that you won't find anyone better, compromise should be a part of every healthy relationship simply because its rare for two people to be able to get exactly what they want in one another.

    Answer by anon1986East at 9:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • compromise has a sigh after coming to it and feeling an end of the situation
    settling, has no sigh but more of a groan, and the situation comes up again and again until a compromise is made or a final end of relationship all together

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:10 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • In the example you gave, you cannot compromise at all. He either is or isn't what you want in a mate. Compromise means you are each willing to do something or change something to satisfy the other. You are usually IN a relationship when compromise comes into play. If you choose to be with a man despite his flaws, that is settling. (not always a bad thing although it sounds negative) Noone is perfect! Sometimes we do settle. We can deal wit him being imperfect in area A, if he is exceptional in area B. KWIM?

    Answer by Bennett121 at 1:42 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I agree with all of the previous answers. You need to ask yourself, do I want him to have strong ideas and beliefs like mine or just in general? What exactly is the point of your question? Are you looking for that someone who meets your criteria? If so, if he doesn't have these attributes and you can accept him for what he is, then you are compromising. If you cannot get past your requirements, then you are settling just for the sake of dating.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:40 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Good answer Anon!

    Comment by mrskrisher (original poster) at 10:11 PM on Jan. 15, 2011