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I am in so much trouble...are you?

My dd is so so very spoiled! I take the blame and so does hubby. I am very fearful of the teenage years! This kid already has asked for a limo for her 8th b-day. She travels with us, she is the only girl and the youngest child. She is planning her 16th birthday bash and wants a motorcycle as a gift as she is planning on already having a car!

I think I (we) are in a bit of trouble!

 
Noosa

Asked by Noosa at 11:03 PM on Jan. 15, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I dont spoil my kids.


    But we do make a good income and they do travel with us, they have been in limos, they do plan ahead. There is a definite way to allow your child a good life (if it is within your budget to do so) and still not be spoiled.


    My daughter turns 16 next month and I am flying her and 3 of her friends to san francisco for the weekend.  But she is not spoiled.  This is not something she "expected" nor did she beg for a party, or think that she "deserved it" simply because it was he birthday.  We offered and she was VERY surprised and grateful.


    If your child EARNS what they have and is required to do chores, study, etc... if they see the value in DOING then they wont end up spoiled even if they get the finer things in life early on.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • oh goodness you are in trouble. well when she doesnt get what she wants she will find out that money doesnt grow on trees and well she doesnt always get what she wants.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 11:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Learn to say No to her or have her work for what she gets. You are not helping her by giving in to her like that. Not bashing, just trying to head you off from some nasty bad times with her as a teen.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:09 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Does she live within the means of her allowance, or is she always asking/demanding money and "things" from you? Explain that you're on a budget and show her how you manage your finances. Then set her up with a bank account or piggy bank and once she starts receiving an allowance (NOT money for chores, but a small weekly amount "just because"), then stand back and let her buy her own stuff... And support her frustration when she can't buy everything exactly when she wants it. The sooner children learn responsibility, the better prepared they'll be to enter the world on their own two feet. 8 years old is not too late to start!
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:13 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • As cliche as it sounds, I really think it's TV and the shows that are on. My 8 year old is the same way, but I think she also kind of understands that it isn't real life. She asks for all this stuff like going to hollywood and a cell phone. I just kind of brush it off, tell her she's crazy, or when she's older. I'm hoping she'll grow out of it as she gets older! Good luck!
    jalvarez626

    Answer by jalvarez626 at 11:15 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • I never had the money to spoil my kids. But my sister did spoil her only child. Her DD once made a Christmas list that was 3 pages long and she bought everything on it and t hen some. She didn't realize it until it was too late. Give her an allowance, and only get what she needs. If she wants something, let her save up her allowance for it, rather than getting it for her. She needs to realize that life doesn't always give you what you want. If she wants it bad enough, she will save her money to get it. And most importantly, don't give in, or she will think that she has you wrapped around her little finger.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:51 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • You are alone from my standpoint but I certainly wish you luck in reversing FAST this freight train.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • Please tell me I am not alone!
    Noosa

    Comment by Noosa (original poster) at 11:03 PM on Jan. 15, 2011

  • My daughter is 9 and very spoiled IMO but not like that I think you are in trouble. I would really try and scale this back before she does get it out of hand. What are we teachingour children that everything is a free ride then what happens when they do have to get a job or earn what they need to and we aren't there.
    I think at some point we have to tell them no. My daughter is an only child with 5 brothers and sisters meaning they are all grown up so she goes everywhere with us and pretty much gets what she wants but I have had to tell her no on like the cell phone and the horse and a few other things.
    I would try and curb all of that before you have a disaster on your hands.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

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