Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

i need to know what to say

Ok, the last time is went to a custody hearing for my daughter I was told that my girlfriend cannot stay over night when my daughter is there bc we are not legally married. since I am native american, the custody is going thru the native courts. i am emailing the gov of our tribe. i am trying to get him to back us up on our marriage. idc if we have to go to iowa to get married (or wherever has gay marriage), i jus want it to count in court. i have sent one email to him, but i am going to email him every week. plz help me out, i need to know what you think i should say to help encourage his help.

 
metalmommy2006

Asked by metalmommy2006 at 12:10 AM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (274 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Wow. That seems awfully nosy of them. I'm assuming your girlfriend has never been charged with a crime involving the harming of a minor in any way?

    I can't believe that your tribe would make such an imposition-- would they do the same for a heterosexual couple? No cohabitating unless married? If there is a double standard, I'd get my own attorney to dispute the inequitable application of the tribal law.

    That being said-- you've got to decide what's more important. Custody of your daugher, or recognition of your relationship? Until your tribal courts get half a brain and a sense of decency, you may have to simply put up with the ignorance for the sake of your daughter.

    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:15 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Just continue to do what your doing, persistency always pays off, also i really admire you for standing up for what you believe in i hope everything works out in your favor you will be in my prayers!

    Marie_07

    Answer by Marie_07 at 12:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • It does sound like discrimination and invasion of privacy for you and your partner. Does your ex have a gf that lives with him? I oils jump on that and make sure it goes both ways...
    Also, You should ask your tribe gov. if they will accept a marriage certificate from out of state. I know that from state to state it is different, and just because you get married in one state, doesn't mean OK has to acknowledge it,
    I just want to say, good luck to you. I admire you for standing up for what you believe in. Its not right for anyone to tell you who you can and cant have in your home, or around your child, only for the sole reason that you are homosexual and not married, I bet it doesn't go both ways. Im sorry you are being persecuted by your tribe. I wish you all the luck in the world <3
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • What state are you in?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:13 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Oklahoma, and I am Chickasaw
    metalmommy2006

    Comment by metalmommy2006 (original poster) at 12:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • the court will decide which parent can provide what is best for the child and having a gay parent is not really accepted as THE BEST thing for a child. I predict you will loose your custody battle because you are openly admitting to being gay.
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 11:08 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Just follow the rules no matter how difficult and unfair they seem. The payoff (cutudy of your daughter will be worth it). Make sure you have people to back you and your new wife up on what great parents you are. Custudy fights can gedt ugly and try not to trust your ex too much they usually turn on you on court, mine did fourtunately I had solid proof to show just what a jerk he was. Be very cautious try not to trust many people, document everything you can. Dont fight on your own get legal representation,
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:21 PM on Jan. 17, 2011