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Relationship/dating question

The father of my child and I recently split up about 3 months ago. I went on my first date with someone 3 weeks ago, we went on a second date a week after the first. We had another date scheduled which he canceled. We talk alot by text messaging and all throughout the day. I really like this guy who I have known since August, we were in a class together and not the reason why my ex and I broke up. We made another date and he didn't seem like he even remembered it. He currently is in a fire tech program which is 6-7 days a week, so I understand the time demands and the reasons why he is so busy but I am wondering if once he is done if we will see each other more or if I am just getting my hopes up. What do you think? Or am I just a loser?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I think you're getting your hopes up, especially if you've only been out just him just a few times and he doesn't remember it.

    GL
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:15 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I think he's just not that into you.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:17 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Your not a loser, Just be honest ask him what the deal is & to cut the bs why should you sit around waiting on someone. Sorry to say it kind of sounds like he is giving you the run around & text message and calls all day is misleading you just be careful GL

    Marie_07

    Answer by Marie_07 at 12:17 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone you like, but it seems awful quick after your separation. The beginning dating stage is different for a guy than for a girl. We tend to take it more seriously. For a guy, they don't start dating a girl with the intention of becoming serious. Girls start out looking for a commitment from the get-go. I would recommend shopping around a little. I'm not talking about being intimate with every guy you meet, but go out, have a nice dinner, some conversation, and determine what you're really looking for in a partner. If this guy is interested in you, he'll be more responsive to you if he has to work for your time, not the other way around.
    bradymommy

    Answer by bradymommy at 12:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • You aren't a loser, he might just not be the one. It sounds like he is not very committed to me, but there might be something wrong with him. He might be a loser. Find a winner is my advice!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Is is what i would say to you if you were one of my best friends...
    Don't expect anything out of this. Don't read into anything, don't let it ruin your day, because at this point, you shouldn't be emotionally invested in him yet as anything more than a good friend. Have fun with him. If he breaks more than 3 dates, i would say that you could start looking elsewhere. Don't cut him out, but next time he tries to make a date, say that you are busy that night because you have a date. Nothing serious. A first date. Then casually say, how about "this" night instead.
    If he runs, he wasn't worth it. And if he likes you, he won't be breaking another date with you again.
    But do not have any preconceived notions of where this could go, just enjoy where you are at right now.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:24 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • You're not a loser. Maybe you both need to decide where you want to go in this relationship. If it's just friendship, that's okay, everyone needs someone to talk to. If not, maybe it's just too soon.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:34 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • i agree with bradymommy 100%. date around, have fun meeting a variety of men.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 1:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • He is the loser not you.And you are on the rebound.So that will mess up your judgement for a while.Don't be in a hurry and rush a relationship.just be a good mom.And have fun for now.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 7:41 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • First, you are not a loser. If you think that way, you'll undermind your chances of meeting the "right someone." Second, if you like him that much, give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens when he finishes his fire tech program. I don't mean don't date anybody else should the situation arise. However, when his program is finished, if he continues to respond to you in this way, it's time to move on.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:30 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

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