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3 Bumps

How often do you think a married man should go out?

My husband thinks he should be able to go out every week.
Yes, we live under the same roof, but we have one child & we don't have anything
that we do weekly, bi-weekly or even monthly.
He has no problem just up and leaving me whenever someone asks him to go out.
He does not make any plans in advance and it is always involving the bar.
He thinks it is okay to come home at around 3am, after he has driven home & closed the bar. Then he wants to sleep in on the weekends from working, because I get to stay home.
Guess I am just frustrated & need to vent.

Answer Question

Asked by mandmsbaby at 8:49 AM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Talk to him about taking you out and including you in his out sprees.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:50 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Mine never does and if he does he asks me to join.

    Answer by older at 8:50 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Yep- time for him to grow up & face reality! He is putting himself & others at risk by driving buzzed or drunk. Can you really afford an attorney, court costs, fines, & increased insurance rates if he gets a DUI? Then we have his lack of responsibilities to you, your child & your marriage. Finally, we have his lack of participation in his household duties. You cant do it all -nor should you have to. You are partners- he needs to act like it. I'd cut it down to once a month w/ the guys & once a month w/ you. And please designate a driver!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:54 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Opinions? Obviously this isn't working for you, so you need to lay down the law! My husband and I have been married for over 10 years, have 2 children (ages 9 and 7), and the only time my husband "goes out" is once a month to play cards at his brother's house, to a college football game (most of the time we go together)! That's it!

    Granted my husband is older--48, but he's ALWAYS been like this! He would rather be DOING something--skiing, kayaking, cycling, etc. than sitting in a bar all night.

    It's fine for your husband to go out once in a while, but I think it's fair to EXPECT he be home DOING STUFF with you, and your child! If he can spend upwards of $100 or more at the bar each week, then you must have enough money to go out to dinner, spend a weekend away together or as a family, etc.

    Start making plans that involve him! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:55 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • my husband isnt into the bar thing but if he was i'd be there with him, and it would only happen maybe once a month
    talk to your hubby tell him u want to do more things together

    Answer by SweetNfun at 9:03 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • My husband goes out once a week BUT he doesn't get drunk, usually just goes to one of his buddies' houses and hangs out. Plus, I also get one night a week to do what I want, and we have at least one night a week set aside as family night. And we have date night every other weekend. So it really doesn't bother me that he goes out once a week.
    I don't think there's any problem with a married man going out, but the additional circumstances in your house are making it unfair.

    Answer by mandaday at 9:10 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Oh and did I mention that I am pregnant?
    Really making me feel trapped.
    Yes he gives me the ability to be a stay at home mom, but that is not the end all be all.

    He thinks because he comes home after work that I should be satisfied.
    I am sorry, but I don't consider that quality time.

    Comment by mandmsbaby (original poster) at 9:20 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Asked hubby this question, he said if they have the money, they should go out together as mush as possible. But if he is going out alone only twice a month is acceptable. I thought this was funny cuz he never goes alone, he always brings me :)

    Answer by Collegemommy910 at 9:27 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • My DH would never dare do that. Your DH sounds like he want to be a single man again. If my DH went out to a bar and stayed out tell 3 am every weekend. We would not have made it to 22 years of marriage. I would have told him how I feel about the going out. Seen if he would stop or cut back. Then if he kept up the BS. I would leave his but. He sound young and immature


    Answer by louise2 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • my husband goes out a couple times a month and i dont have any problem with it

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 10:00 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

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