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before getting married i think it is a good idea to do an extensive back ground check and a credit check on your s/o . what are your thoughts?...

can of worms

 
gwen20

Asked by gwen20 at 11:07 AM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
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Answers (19)
  • I think a conversation about finances and criminal activity is important - I don't think that I would actually do a background/credit check - if I didn't trust that they were telling me the truth why on earth would I marry them?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:09 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I think these are things you MUST talk about but I would hope that you choose an honest person and wouldnt have to do a background check.


    If you couldnt trust the man to answer the question honestly and will full disclosure why in the hell would you consider marrying him???

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 11:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • If you were thinking with your head it would be, but most of the time people are in love when they get married and think with their hearts.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:21 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Get everything out on the table I suppose, and deal with it.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 11:08 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Now that you can do that right on your computer. I think it is a good idea to do that.
    Because people hide things. Like bad credit/in debt. Kids. Wife. ect.........
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:11 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • the sad part, is if it's someone you love, you should be able to trust that they'd bring these things up, or at least be honest about it all......
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 11:14 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • LOL.... I see that scuba and I answered the same.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 11:15 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • If a person will lie about things like this you or you suspect they might be dishonest you should not be marrying and if there is something you not sure of you should not be talking about marriage. Both people should come clean and if you suspect the person is not being honest you should move on.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:16 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I think that if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone then you should have trust...if there are things that you know would be deal breakers for you have a seriouse conversation and ask about them...if you cant trust that this person is being honest then dont be with them...I think to have a background check done is kind of invasive and if my husband had done that to me before we married (particularly without my knowledge) I would have been done because I don't need to love someone who doesn't trust me enough to ask ME about MY background ya know it's a partnership that is suposed to be built from love and trust so it should be treated that way
    pregoagain2010

    Answer by pregoagain2010 at 11:30 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • My husband and I didn't do that but we have been together since high school so we really knew each other when we married. If he had been in jail I would have known since we saw each other every single day. If I found myself single I would do a background check and criminal check. I would use my head because sometimes our hearts don't see very clearly. My sister regrets not checking out her first husband. She was in love and trusted him fully. I had a bad feeling and begged her to just run a background check she refused. A few months into the marriage she found out he was 200k in debt and he had been to prison for rape. They divorced soon after but not before he drained her bank accounts. Took her many years to trust anyone and her current husband loved her enough to be an open book and didn't get mad when she ran a background check on him.
    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 11:40 AM on Jan. 16, 2011

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