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Why does my Mom stop talking to the adult children?

I am 46 years of age. My Mom stopped talking to me when I was arou39 for about a year until she broke a rib and I went to see her in the hospital, after that she started talking to me again. Then, again in about 2002 she did it again. Both for a reason that my brother could see had nothing to do with me. In 2008 she got married, said she had therapy and called me and said how sorry she was for it all and that it would never happen again. Now after two years, birthdy, christmas cards, etc telling me heartfelt reasons she is so grateful for a daughter like me.. she is doing it again. She does not always tell the truth, is very passive agressive... I have known this all my life. I accept her the way she is bcause after therapy she was the same person, that she has always been my whole life. What am I missing here? Why does she do this? she has stopped talking to friends and other family members too,my brother included

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Monica R.

Asked by Monica R. at 2:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • When you said she is Passive Agressive, has she actually been diagnosed with Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder? There really is one. That could be why she is doing what she is doing, it is her disorder taking over, she may need to contiue therapy.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:49 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Does she have issues with depression?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:50 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • My DD is 48 and I'd be devastated if we didn't talk at least once a day. I'm so sorry hon and can feel your hurt and confusion as to why she is doing this and you probably will never really know why. It's obvious to me she has some kind of mental disorder and can't seem to help herself, having said that, she is emotionally abusing you and the family. I would keep my distance if I couldn't except her as she is which would be very hard for anyone. Good luck hon, I wish you the best.
    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 2:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Some of us are a bit quirky in our old age
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:41 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • As Bad as i hate to say it- i am glad i am Not Alone! My Mom has done the Exact same thing to me! I'm 44 & for 39 Years i put up with it- i finally cut All ties with her 5 Years ago (January 14th was 5 Years) b/c my Heart could not take it anymore- i will Never Understand why she has done that to me but, it has taught me to be a Much better Mother & there is not Anything in this Whole World that would make me not talk to my kids! Hope you work it out with your Mom!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 3:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • if it looks like an elephant, smells like an elephant, and acts like an elephant... IT IS AN ELEPHANT.... dont expect anything else.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 4:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • this is who she is..... bummer but there is nothing you can do to change her... it isnt YOU... it is HER.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 4:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • It sounds like she has some kind of clinical issues. It might help you find some answers if you see a therapist.
    christinab313

    Answer by christinab313 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

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