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How do you deal with your 4 year old?

My 4 year old is very close with his nana and papa. Everytime I take him to stay with them for a weekend, when I pick him up he cries that he wants to stay and then cries for days after saying he wants to see them. Makes me not want to take him over there anymore. Then he does not want to listen to me when he is home and acts like how they let him act. How do I handle this?

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Angel.Johnson87

Asked by Angel.Johnson87 at 3:05 PM on Jan. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • It must be an attachment issue. I would only let him stay for an hour or so and personally I would stay with him. That way when you leave it wouldn't be so traumatic. More frequent but shorter visits. You can also tell your son what you are going to do. At 4 they should be able to comprehend better. good luck. :)
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 3:34 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • He comprehends just fine but my parents are about to move 3 states away. SO i know its goin to be hard then. But right now I don't go with him because they live half an hour away so I just let him stay the weekend every now and then. And then my parents expect me to call them every night when he goes to bed to talk to him which does not help the situation either. I dont know how to talk to them about it without them getting mad.
    Angel.Johnson87

    Comment by Angel.Johnson87 (original poster) at 3:37 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I would sit down with the grandparents and make sure they parent him the way you want, setting boundaries etc. Tell them, it's really tough to deprogram him at this age from getting what he wants when he's there. When he's older, they can spoil him but right now, this is a developmental thing and they need to be on board with you.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • my dd gets like that sometimes too but it's because my dad spoils her, she dosen't go over there as often as she did and her behavior has gotten better
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Its just talking to my parents about these things gets them mad at me. They try to pull the guilt trick alot. Therefore making me not want to say anything! Its hard. I will be glad when they move to florida. Things will definately get better. I still have a few months for that though. Then after that I will have to discuss with them that they can't call everyday. Its a lose lose situation when it comes to talking with my parents about these kind of things.
    Angel.Johnson87

    Comment by Angel.Johnson87 (original poster) at 4:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I have a similar problem with my eldest. My parent's really spoil him. He stays most Friday nights with them and when he comes home he is so disrespectful! I have talked with my parents about tightening the rules with him, but that was a waste of time. I can't keep him away from them, he would be devastated. But I do warn him that he won't get the next visit week if he doesn't stop with the attitude. Most times it works. Maybe if you tell him before he goes that he will be coming home at this time, that you expect no crying and whatever other rules and behaviors you expect from him. Do it each time he stays. Eventually he'll realize that what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's lol.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:26 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I have tried, does not seem to work. lol.
    Angel.Johnson87

    Comment by Angel.Johnson87 (original poster) at 11:34 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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