Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should i be upset?

For the past few days my husband had a bad cold, he was coughing so badly to the point he's chest hurts him. I ended up taking him to the doctor where he was prescribe something for the cold and he feels much better. On Saturday my throat started to get itchy, my nose is running now i have his cold. Before he went to night church on sunday he told me he'll do the dishes when he comes home, when he came home he just went to bed he said how he have to wake up early to go to work { he was home by 8pm from night church] i was so mad i got up to do the dishes even though my body was aching and my nose running. he felt bad then he came and told me " you took care of me when i was sick its only fare i do the same" i replied and said" no" i got it and he just went back to bed. Was that fare? i waited on him hands and foot when he was sick, why i'm not getting the same treatment?

Answer Question
 
soraya14

Asked by soraya14 at 10:04 PM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,084 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You specifically told him "No" so yes it is fair. If you wanted his help you should have just let him help. Passive-aggressive behavior is a bad habit.
    bugfin

    Answer by bugfin at 10:05 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • He did say that he would take care of it and you said no. He probably took you at your word. next time, go to bed or step aside if you want him to do it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:06 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • He should not have just gone back to bed, even though you said no, after he already screwed up and didn't bother to do what he said he would. Yes it was passive aggressive and you should not do that but it does not change the fact that he needs to be as good to you as you were to him. Instead of going back to bed he should have been doing something else around the house while you were doing the dishes. He is being childish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I agree you told him no so he backed off. I would go apologize to him and tell him you didn't mean it and you appriciate his help and step aside and let him do it the next time he offers.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 10:11 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • men arent as complex as women. when we tell them no, they take it as no. but when a man tells a woman no, we take it as maybe.. so by ur telling him u got it and no.. he took it as a sign that u didnt need him to do it and u werre feeling good enought to take care of it. most men wont care to find out the underlying reason to the thing us women say.. a few do... most dont.. so try being more specific with him.. if he says" hey babe u want me to do the dishes".. swallow your pride and say "ok. thank u." and walk away.. i hope this helps..
    NaomisMama1201

    Answer by NaomisMama1201 at 10:12 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • There is some great advice here on how to be a doormat and then apologize even though you were not the only one in the wrong. If that is the kind of marriage you want, here's how to have it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • No you don't have a right to be upset. You told him no. You should have told him how you really feel and let him do it. Men arent mind readers.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • He respected your "no". You should have accepted his help
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I understand why you're upset but you specifically told him no and most men will either take it as a direct no not realizing that its an "I'm mad at you no" and some men will take the no and avoid the attitude because it's easier. It's probably best to let it go for now and if it happens again tell him straight out that you're upset and would appreciate the help since you did everything for him when he was sick.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 10:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Cut him a Break- he did get up & tell you he would do the dishes; alot of husbands wouldn't of cared if your body ached & your nose was running- Hope you feel better soon!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 11:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN