Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How should I deal with it?

I think I am very short tempered & impatient.I often end up spanking my one year old.Tho' I do not want to do it & my heart sinks the moment I do such things, but I just can't hold myself when a situation arises that wants me to have more patience. I cry a lot because I harm my child but what should I do. Can any one suggest how can I become more patient & calm with my baby, other wise I know I will end up making spoiling the personality of my child.

Answer Question
 
A11

Asked by A11 at 10:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 17 (3,687 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Gf go to Super Nanny and watch some of those videos!  She really gets to the point and you will learn GREAT techniques on discipline! She also talks about parents being impatient and short tempered.  Your not alone and it's great that you posted this. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • First off I want to applause your honesty. I think you should put the child in their crib for just a minute when you have those feelings, go in a different room for a minute and chill out. If you seperate yourself from the situation from a minute you will calm down.
    genagina

    Answer by genagina at 10:35 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I think we all get impatient and fed up at one point, but it just depends on how u handle it all. First figure out y u r so short all the time , do u feel overwelmed are u hungry tired or just want a break. Try to do something for urself everyday it can be put the bby down for a nap and watch ur fav tv show, or even eat a chocolate bar (yea i said it). But really u gotta remember ur child is only 1 , and a one year old cant tell you how they feel and think if u where them and u couldnt tell someone how u felt or what u wanted ud get pretty pissy and braty ect. right so no need to spank ur childern. If they do somethign wrong a baby that young u just take away from the stituation she is to young to understand, just remember that.
    Cherriemama831

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 10:39 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • my son is almost 2 and sometimes at this stage it is very hard to punish them or not because sometimes they know better sometimes they dont. I have learned first if i start getting upset, i walk away. I go out into my garage yell at the garbage can, kick it, walk back in and then deal. I know it seems crazy, but it works and i dont lay a finger on my child in the process. I use the word no ...ALOT...and like if he decides to throw his cereal on the couch i put it back and give it to him and say no, he does it again, i take it away from him. If he has a temper tantrum, i let him. I have realized if i acknoweldge him during a temper tantrum it gets worse, he wont stop, i let him work through it on his own the way he wants to. Remeber to choose your battles.This will help destress you, so you dont feel you have to constantly fight over every little thing. But a spank on the butt wont hurt, if its called for and learn his lesson.
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 10:43 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • also ..when i say let my kid have his temper tantrums..that doesnt mean he runs my house lol. I put him in a corner and let him scream and cry it out other wise he thinks im giving him attention to his temper tantrums and thats what i dont want, otherwise he will keep having them lol..for attention. Dont worry your not alone!
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 10:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Walk away and take a moment :) I know about having a short fuse and I refused to spank my 3 year old until I knew i could with out doing it out of anger
    ceemuhreeashbee

    Answer by ceemuhreeashbee at 10:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Walk away for 2 minutes. Give yourself a time out. Whatever you do, don't hit a baby!!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:56 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • Oh mama! I was feeling like this today! I bopped my son on the butt a few times, but mostly, I cringed and breathed and prayed for patience! It was a hard day... no, it's been a hard several days, and i don't know WHY he's so whiney! Today I just had to put him in his crib a few times and walk away. I know leaving him there crying may not have been the best thing, but it was certainly better than spanking him. While I DO believe in spanking, whenever I want to spank him, I ask myself whether it's because I think it will teach him something, or because I need to blow off steam. Today, I knew it was because I was frustrated, and it wouldn't do him any good. I thought, "What I need is a doll I can spank to work out my frustration!" LOL! Thankfully, the day is over and he's sound asleep! Whew! One thing for sure: Make sure your little guy is getting to bed early! 7 PM is not too early for a 1-year-old.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • I applaud you too for your honesty! Kids this age are very trying! They get into everything! The thing that I always try to keep in mind is that they are learning about things and are curious as hell! They have an urge to explore. So as my 1 year old twins have undone the entire toliet paper roll and strung it EVERYWHERE. I take a deep breath and see the situation for what it is. They are curious and it is immensely fasinating to them that the roll keep going and going. SO...go through your home and ensure it is very baby proof. Have lots of toys out. When they do something wrong and you can't control yourself go in the other room. When you can control yourself, say "no" to what it off limits but be sure to praise the kid when they do right. ENCOURAGE them to do right. I say..."Be a good girl and give mommy the remote." They bulk but them amazingly give it up. I say "good girl" and their face lights up with joy. When you..cont
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:58 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • see that face light up from praise, you can be assured that they will want to please you again and again like that. Kids love mom's approval. When you are happy with them, they learn better and grow a desire to please you. Something that might help you too is reading child development books. This will give you prespective about what to expect from a kid at any age. Kids all do the same things. It seems like they are being "bad" but what they are really saying is "I want to learn and explore! Teach me, mom, what to do! Show me everything, mom! Let me touch it and taste it. It is all so new to me! I want to learn it all!" If you change your expectations and perception then I bet you will feel more in control. Always remind yourself that some day these babies will be teenagers. And you will miss them getting into everything and being underneith you. Enjoy it while you can.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:05 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Toddlers (1-2)
first word... true daddys boy

Next question overall (Health)
Copper IUD