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4 Bumps

My friend found out last week he is going to be a dad...very soon and wanted some women's opinions about father's raising daughters all on their own....

So my buddy Devin has horrible taste in women - this is something we've known since his first girlfriend when we were 11 - a couple months ago and woman he had a very brief fling with showed up claiming the father of her child was Devin...the man has his issues but he's got a good job and a wealthy family so he insisted on a paternity test before the baby was even born, so that was done and the mother gave him the results last week and he is definetely the daddy. Then this woman tells him she never wanted to get pregnant but couldn't bring herself to have an abortion so she's giving the kid up for adoption, and Devin being the guy he is can't live knowing he's got a kid out in the world somewhere so he'll be this child's only parent - the doctor told him it's a girl and he already picked her name and is completely loving the thought of being a dad but it's not often you see a single dad raising a child from birth without the benefit of the mother so he was simply curious as to any opinions and/or advice some women had for him. He's got about a month before his daughter is in his arms.

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anon1986East

Asked by anon1986East at 11:39 PM on Jan. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (4,812 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • that is awesome that he wants to be apart of his daughters life like and and be a man and raise her.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 11:46 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • do what he has to do.. i think it will be difficult but its pretty much the same as single moms raising boys,, just hope that when his daughter get s older there will be someone she can talk to about girl problems i say go for it and good luck..
    kyiahsmommy

    Answer by kyiahsmommy at 11:49 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • It CAN be done, though it's going to be scary for him (more scary than being a new single mom, I think). I would urge him to find out all the information he can, go to the same sites moms would (except this one, haha). Use all his resources and make sure that he is not stretching himself too thin, and TRUST his instincts! Fathers have them just like mothers do - fathers just don't trust theirs for some reason.
    Holly.

    Answer by Holly. at 11:55 PM on Jan. 16, 2011

  • His daughter will have plenty of females to go to as she grows up - for a man who makes poor choices when it comes to girlfriends he has plenty of female friends, most of whom are mothers. I'm also hoping now that he'll have a baby to think of he'll be smarter when it comes to the women he dates. I'm extremely proud of how much he's already done, in just this past week he's made changes to his work schedule - even arranged two weeks off after she's born - he's already begun baby proofing his house, has the room next to his all decked out in cute baby girl decorations and furniture, stocked up on formula, diapers and clothes. He knows he has me and our other friends to come to for advice; and although it'd be odd for a man to be on a site like this I told him if he really wanted some unbiased advice I'd post questions for him.
    anon1986East

    Comment by anon1986East (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • There is a wonderful book called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. Learn more here:  http://www.naomialdort.com/


    I would also get him subscriptions to Mothering Magazine and Kiwi Magazine.


    You are a good friend!!!

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:37 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • My dh's cousin raised his daughter and she's all grown with children of her own. My mom had a friend leave her dh and the children! I guess my point is, he is a parent now, and he will do what he has to for his child. Also, remind him to get lots of rest in the next month, he's going to need it! :o)
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:02 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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