Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

hmm??

i have a 15 month old and one due any day.. im not with their father in fact he just kicked me out! i love my kids to death and would do anything for them. when it comes to their dad i dont see him as a positive person in their life. the only reason i am even goin to let them see him is bc hes "daddy" no matter what i do. I have such bad luck with men and i know in the long run i am goin to date other people. i wouldnt let them around my kids till i fell its right.. my ? is how do u know when its right and that hes goin to be a positive person for them to be around?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • The only thing I can tell you is time. You have to wait it out. Its all about trial and error.
    KlieneMutter

    Answer by KlieneMutter at 9:42 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • See how they treat other children and including yours. Ask them how they feel about kids...is he an uncle...if so does he play a part in his niece and nephews lives...does he want to be a father and have children of his own one day.....Do NOT disreguard the RED flags...
    good luck...take your time....
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:18 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • He is your children's father and they need to know him. Children know instinctively that they are one half mom and one half dad. They may not know biology but they do know that. Children need to feel they are loved by both parents. If he is not abusive or neglectful to his kids, if he is seeing them in an environment that is safe - do what needs to be done to encourage him to be a part of their life. He may have been a terrible partner but that doesn't mean he will be an equally terrible dad. He may never win daddy of the year, pay child support on time (or at all), have nice things to say to you - but if he is willing to try to see his children then make it happen for their sake. When they are grown they will know who PARENTED them, who provided for them, who worked hard, and who cared. But don't give them the opportunity to resent you for them not knowing thier father.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:18 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • You give it time and you don't rush into an intimate relationship too quickly. Get to know them a while first and see how they treat you.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:24 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.