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How do you deal with losing child???

I lost my 2 yr old in June and I feel like I'm going crazy longing for her, I don't know what to do. I cry myself to sleep at night and dream of her still with us. I know she is no longer in pain but I wish the Lord would not have taken her from us. How do you cope with the death of a child??

Answer Question

Asked by Jaimev86 at 12:29 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Health

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I couldn't even imagine. I cried when I read your post. My heart truly does go out to you. I'm sorry you had to lose your child at such a young age. You're in my prayers.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 12:30 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • The same way you cope with anything else you don't want but have anyhow: appreciation.

    While you're driving yourself crazy and being miserable, you're also not living any sense of appreciation or gratitude for the little life that touched yours in many positive ways. While you are not appreciating her existence, you are turning your back and closing the door on what her life was worth to you. What you are living is 'her life is a heartache to you.'

    While no one can take away the deep joy and love and affection you felt while she was alive, you are dropping it alongside your road of self-pity and picking up as much anguish as you can carry. Why wait for someone to take away what you are forsaking by choice?

    Choose to revel in her light, her life, the brightness she brought, her joy --your joy with her.

    Or not. Whatever blows your hair back.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:34 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I am sorry that I don't have a better answer for you. I feel so inadequate to answer your question but I just wanted to tell you that I care and I will be praying for you and your family. I have a two year old daughter and I can't imagine living without her. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. Feel free to message me at anytime.

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 12:37 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I am sorry. I lost a child to stillbirth, but I can not imagine having a child for 2 years and then losing her.

    I think everyone grieves differently, and whatever works for you is the right way - it depends completely on the person.

    I would, however, suggest a grief counselor or therapist. It really helped me after I lost my daughter. And I am so sorry for your loss.

    Answer by Holly. at 12:44 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I took care of my daughter every day of her life due to she was only born with her brainstem and had feeding tube, meds and oxygen and I cared for her I'm not on a self pity trip I still take care of my other 3 children along with an exchange student and my husband but at some point in time it will be my turn to grieve for her properly. When you HAVE to cope with something you do as I have the best I can and don't know what else to do although I FEEL like I'm going nuts I'm still staying strong,
    And Thank you frogbaby and athomemommy prayers are what has gotten me this far. And are always appreciated

    Comment by Jaimev86 (original poster) at 12:47 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Holly Thank you and I actually went to one and made them cry just telling my full story. So I no longer believe that I can go to someone that I'm going to make cry when their supposed to be helping me be stonger than I am

    Comment by Jaimev86 (original poster) at 12:49 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you are suffering and I so wish that we all had answers that would take away the pain you feel. I am wondering if a support group would be helpful to you. A group with other parents in simular situations might help you get your feelings out when other parents or friends may not understand your grief. Is there a group on here, even, maybe you could start one. I just want you to know that while i am typing this I asked the Lord to give you comfort you and give you a little bit of peace. I lost a baby in my second trimester of pregnancy 8 years ago...not the same situation, I understand; however, in my grief, I found helping other people in simular circumstances and them helping me helped me to will never get over, but you can cope.

    Answer by clsrn at 12:51 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • My friend there is simply no way to tell you when or if ever you will be over with your loss. Loss is always loss sweetie. You are courageous to share your grief. This is a safe place for you to share.


    Answer by rosetoes at 12:53 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I just came back from traveling to a funeral. it was the hardest funeral to be at. My best friend's mother was burying her second child. She lost her DD at 14 yrs old and her DS at 30. My husband had never met her and when he saw her, he said to me, 'I don't know how she does it, you can see the pain in her face, yet she is smiling.' That, is with any mother who loses a child. The pain is written in their face, but they are smiling because they still have other children to live for.
    I will pray for you my dear, just as I do for this dear friend of mine. I will pray for strength, comfort, peace and joy.

    Answer by RachWell at 1:54 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

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