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What to do about mother in law?

My daughter is only 7 weeks old and my mother in law thinks that I should just be able to let her go with her and stay all night anytime that she wants her.. i am having issues with being away from her. My husband doesn't understand why this bothers me, i have tried explaining it to him.. He works night shift, so he doesn't get up with her at night. I would be lost with out her.. I have agreed to let them see her for hours during the day, but that isn't good enough, she wants her all night.. I am not ready to let her go and stay all night.. But I am being accussed of being selfish and ignorant.. I need suggestions on how to get my point across, and opinions on this situation......

***I have tried many times to try and tell her that it is too soon for me to let her go and stay over night, but she jsut keeps on insisting.. My DH and I are starting to have issues due to MIL insisting and making comments that I am just being selfish and not wanting her to see the baby.. I have tried explaining how I feel and that I would be lost.. I am to the point that i don't even want to go around her or her husband.. i can't take anymore.. They are stressing me out over all of this.. I have told them when i am ready i will let them keep her overnight, but it just isn't working.. I am at my wits end.....

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Asked by sweetc2324 at 4:01 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I had the same problem. Although I love my MIL very much, I wasn't ready until he was about 6 months old. Tell her that you wouldn't mind if she came and spent the night at your house and helped through the night. Thats what I did, and it solved both our issues. Rent some chick flicks, pop some popcorn and have a slumber party with her. Even if you guys aren't that close, I promise you asking her to come and spend the night with you will warm up her insides!

    Answer by usdragonflies at 4:13 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I am usually all for letting kids stay with their grandparents for the night, but usually the people asking this question have 2 year old children and have never spent the night away from them. This case is different, IMO. I think that at 7 weeks, if you're not comfortable with it yet, you shouldn't let her go. Let your MIL call you selfish; that doesn't matter. You can be selfish, she is YOUR baby. You are the boss.

    Answer by Holly. at 4:35 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • tell your MIL that your baby is way too young to be away from you, and that it is your child your choice

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:43 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Tell her your not ready for her to go all night you are the parent and she is the grandmother. You must be direct like I had to be or she will keep it up. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:17 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I'm sure your MIL is just dying to have your baby come over to spend the night. She loves that baby. You will feel a little terrible the first couple of times you havd your baby off to somebody else. It's normal. Just rememebr it's only for one night, and your Mil will be so excited to wake up with her when she cries at night, she'll never put her down. But if you are not ready, then tell her that in the most polite way you can think, but I'll tell you it'll never be easy for you to do, you will never feel like you are ready, especially with your first, but by the time your on your third, you'll let grandma take them whenever she wants.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 6:24 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I'm honestly trying to figure out why on Earth you MIL is so gung ho to keep your child overnight so soon.
    I would feel the same way you do. Just keep insisting it's too soon. If she thinks you are over reacting, show her this page. When she see that so many women agree withyou, maybe she will back off.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:41 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • The baby is still bonding with you and DH. Too soon for her to have sleepovers!!!

    Answer by Librarylady60 at 9:14 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • at seven weeks old? when I first read it, I thought she was 7 years old, and I was questioning it then!
    there's no way I would let a 7 year old stay somewhere all night. Too many concerns

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I had the same problem with my first child. My MIL and dh pressured me into leaving him long before I was ready. You are the mother, you set the rules! No matter their hard feelings or what they say! You do what is comfortable for you, or you will have major resentment issues! Also, I don't feel a child should be away over night til at least 2 and then rarely at that!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:53 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • 7 weeks is waaay too young to leave mama...i'd tell her to spend the night WITH you, or get over it. put your foot down. she came out of you, not her, and she needs to learn boundries now, or shes gonna run all over you! good luck!

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 4:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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