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How involved should I get?

My daughter is 8 and in the 2nd grade. One day last week she was accused by another girl in her class of stealing an eraser that was given to the students by a class visitor. My daughter has never taken given anyone any reason to believe she would steal anything but anyway, the girl proceeded to confront my daughter about it and called her a liar and accused her of stealing several times in front of my daughter's friends.

The following day, my daughter's eraser "disappeared" from her desk and that same girl just happened to have found her eraser which she poked holes throughout it. She claims that she found it in her bin in the classroom...interesting it just turned up when it had been searched for the day before...

I emailed the teacher when my daughter was first getting accused. The teacher talked to them and told them to stay away from each other. Then after my daughter told her about her eraser the teacher told her that she wasn't going to deal with it. She did give my daughter a new eraser (which was not the same as the one she had before) but she will not address it with the other girl.

I believe the other little girl got into my daughter's belongings and took her property and then destroyed it.

I am sure the teacher is tired of hearing about it but if that eraser would have been taken from the teacher's desk then her reaction would have been a lot different.

I work in the district as an elementary school counselor (different building) and we would have treated this situation differently. I'm not asking for anything harsh but maybe an apology (from the girl to my daughter) would be a good start.

I think that since I work in the school district it is not being handled as it would someone else's kids. I told my daughter that the teacher is too busy to handle every a problem every time it comes up so I told her to take her issues with this girl to the counselor in her building or to the principal.

What do you guys think?

Answer Question

Asked by hugginonem at 5:02 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • As a teacher I think you are way overdoing it I understand your point but if you don't let it go the kids never will either leave it be, the girl isn't going to admit she is wrong and pushing the point will only cause more issues for your child let it go. If the girl is a problem again then you need a parent teacher meeting with the girls parents and the teacher

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:00 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • In of itself, the eraser is not a big deal.

    In my district we encourage students, peers, and parents to report bullying of any kind. I think it would be different if she blamed my daughter and that was it but she made it a point to approach her three other times and confront her about it. After the teacher handled it the girl stole an item out of my daughter's desk. To me that is bulling.

    Do you teach at the elementary level? If so what would you do if you just spoke to one of your students and then on the same day (after you spoke to the student) they went into someone's desk and ruined their property? Would you not think the other student was bulling?

    I wouldn't allow students at my school to behave this way. If it was anyone else's child I would want them to know people taking their things is unacceptable in any situation. I wouldn't call in the sheriff, but I would talk with them

    Comment by hugginonem (original poster) at 6:52 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I also understand your point although you have not proof that the girl stole from your daughter, just as the other had not proof t hat your daughter stole from her. I really think that you should let this be and see what happens. If the girl continues to bother your daughter then I can see getting involved. I understand that at your school they would have handled it differently and maybe that is part of the problem as well, you want your DD school to handle things the way you would and that is not happening, so maybe it isn't because you work in the ditrict they handled differently, maybe you just see the difference because of were you work.

    Also, kids usually get over things fast then parents so these kids might already be done with this.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I would e-mail the teacher again. It would say: I respect your choice this is a matter for the girls to work out. It pains me that my daughter currently in an uncomfortable situation and I realize it is a learning opportunity for both children. I would like to be kept updated if you notice my child is having any further difficulty with her peers that we can address at home. I don't want this to interfere with her ability to concentrate and focus on her school work. Thank you. Sincerely, Frogdawg.  I would also let my daughter solve this new situation.  It shows I trust her ability to resolve uncomfortable and distressing social situations.  I would be available to listen to her, brainstorm possible scenarios, and be a shoulder to cry on.  Only if the harassment became an issue where it impacted my child's ability to learn in class and was so disruptive that she had a hard time concentrating would I become involved.>


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:16 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

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