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i need advice

the other weekend my hubba threw me a surprise 40th birthday party. it was beautiful out at this nice restaurant and all of my friends and some of my family that were able to come in came. his parents did not come and one of his loser sisters with her boyfriend and 2 brats came with not even a happy bday and no gift. this is the final straw i am so sick of being disrespected by these losers. what should i do?

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momto3157

Asked by momto3157 at 9:52 AM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Sense it is his family. I think you need to talk to him about it. Try to get him to talk to them. About this issue. Then if that doesn't work. Talk to them personaly.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:57 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Being part of the family you have to help keep the peace. They did come that should show that they care at least a little. The way you speak about them shows alot of the way you may act toward them when they are around maybe just let things go. Its not like they live with you. Just on family occasions. Be the better person. Do you actually care if they bought a present come on now that is a little childish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • When you got married his family became YOUR family... so family rules apply. My motto with family is that you don't have to like them all the time... you just have to love them. Like the other person said, be the bigger person. If you don't really like them, then be polite, but don't overextend yourself.... go on with your other guests. It DID take SOME effort for them to show up whether for you or out of respect for your husband's wishes, so please be respectful.
    AggieMamacita

    Answer by AggieMamacita at 10:07 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • You can't make someone bring a gift to your party. While it is polite to do so and shows that you are thinking of that person - it is not an absolute requirement. If you were to gripe that they disrespected you for not bringing a gift then you will look like the petty bitchy one. While they may actually be rude and have brats for kids - picking on anyone's children is a low blow (even when it is true that they are awful). It will only make parents and grandparents get defensive - again making you out to be the bad one. If his parents did come, how likely would it have been that they would have done someting to annoy you? So they dissed you. Yeah it is hurtful. But in the end you have to decide how you are going to spend your time and energy. So next time you have a party invite people you want to party with. Keep the peace and limit time with them.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:10 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • "You can't make someone bring a gift to your party" she didnt say they didnt bring a gift, she said they didnt say happy bday. and at the very least they could of said happy fucking bday bitch lol.

    tell your husband your sick of the disrespect. keeping the peace and being a good wife is seperate from being a pushover who is being disrespected. you arey our usband priority, not them. he needs to talk to them
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 10:25 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I don't care about them bringing a gift or not. it is the disrespect that they show to me and they think that I am spoiled to begin with and especially my sil is jealous. me & my husband have fought over them many times and there is only so much garbage that you can put up with. why did they even bother to show up for my husbands sake when all there was was tension and they just sat by themselves and didn't want to even mingle. i don't know what my husband is so afraid of? shouldn't i get the respect for being his wife and mother of his 3 kids.
    momto3157

    Answer by momto3157 at 10:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • It is your hubby's family. You didn't mention how close they were or how HE felt about his own family. Sometimes it's a delicate position you are in and is futile to stir anything up between you and your hubby. If he is open to it, I would let him know how I feel and then I would take the high road. Meaning, I wouldn't let their disrespect bother me in the least bit. You know that you are a great wife and Mom, who really cares what they think. Their disrespect doesn't define you. Respect can not be demanded from anyone. I always take the high road. Be the one with grace, honor and maturity! Rise above. If your hubby is open to talking to them, great. If not, continued.....

    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 10:48 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • continued.......I would simply state how you feel and then rise above. I think I'm repeating myself.....lol lol lol! I am totally disrespected by my hubby's Dad, my hubby has stood up for me and totally didn't talk to him for a very long time. Yet, anytime I see him, I give him a big hug and I'm very cordial. What he thinks of me has absolutely NO bearing on my life or on who I am! I even encourage my hubby to nurture his relationship with his Dad, my hubby is an only child and his Mom passed away when he was 10, so his Dad is his only connection to himself. I really could care less that he respect me or not! We did make sure it wasn't done so around the children!
    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 10:48 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

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