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3 Bumps

Am I wrong here? **This is long ladies** Really long!

From what i've been told my mom USED to favor me. Then came my brother and at first things were good. Then the BOOM. She and my dad got divorced after she walked in on him and her best friend. How do I know this story is true? I REMEMBER it.. I was there!!

Anyway, she blamed me for the divorce. She left me and my bother to the care of family. We bounced between my aunt and my dad and then eventually we were just with my aunt. One day my mom picks me up and there is this little girl in back seat. "Thats your sister." THATS IT!! That child was well over a year old. REALLY?!?! WTH have you been mom and how is that anyway to spring that on someone...but ok.

From the moment my brother and I went back to live with my mom I was placed beneath him and my sister. I cleaned, cooked, washed, and even did homework for them. If they were unhappy it was my fault and I got a beating. She even went so far as to put her lover ahead of me. She moved this woman and her 4 kids into out 2bed 2 bath apt. I slept on the floor in the living room while all the children had the room and she her gf had the other rm. At one point her lover became hooked on crack. Drained my mom dry...when i told her this she attempted to beat me with an inline skate. Even when this woman pawned our tv. The lady told her I did it and again, I was beaten.

My sister and brother never, and I mean never were disciplined. She literally called them her king and queen.

Anyway here we are years later. My brother has told her he flat out hates her. Has cursed her out. Called her humiliating names. My sister does worse. Just as the lady did, she drains my mom dry. She barely has enough to pay bills but my sister is handed about 200 cash every time my mom gets paid. She can do what she pleases with it. The problem is: she is failing all her classes. My mom has caught her on multiple occasions taking semi nude pics with her phone. She curses like a drunken sailor. She's lazy and when you attempt to tell her what she is doing wrong her line is, "Why bother. Mama gon give me what I want anyway."

My mom calls me and cry's, yells, whatever, about her situation. Claims she doesn't understand how it got here and what to do. I tell her what to do and does she do it? NO. She just calls me back with the same freaking sob story.

Yes ladies I am PISSED. I worked my butt off to keep this woman happy. Even when I got pregnant with my firstborn in high school. I maintained my grades. Graduated as a Texas scholar and with a scholarship. I am mad because I NEVER got to do any of the things my sister does. I didn't even get to hang out with my OWN COUSIN because she needed me to watch the kids while she went to the casino. Going to the movies with friends? Forget about it. Mom can I have a cell phone with the money I earned from MY job? No. Ladies my mom would literally walk into where I worked, cash my check, hand me 20 and I wouldn't see another dime.

But back on track... The last time I talked to my mom about my sister I stopped her mid convo. I told her that if she isn't going to do something about it then please stop telling me about it.

Am I wrong to feel so much anger about the childhood I had? Am I wrong to tell her that I don't want to here about her and my sisters problems anymore?


Asked by 4xsthetrouble at 6:49 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,387 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You are ABSOLUTELY NOT WRONG. I'd say cut of all contact and move on. You did AMAZING for your life and YOU should be proud of that and NOT let your mother destroy everything you have built for yourself. Maybe talking to a therapist can help you let go. I lived all my life to please my mom (she wasnt abusive or neglective like urs tho)..but it seemed nothing i did was right..and i had to learn to let go and live for myself and no one else.

    Good luck hunny!! Get Rid of the parasite in ur life!!

    Answer by SweetPoison at 1:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Tell her do not bottle that crap up tell her and move on. She made her bed she made this monster when she calls you say to her I am sorry you made bad choices in the past and now you have to live with the outcome of it. Tell her this every time and tell her when she does not get the hint say hey I am done with you call me when you want to know how I am doing or call me when you have some good news. Let her go it will make your life better. GL Momma


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:06 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • No you where right to feel the way you do. However if you are now an adult, you have to live for you. If your mother cant take care of her kids that is HER PROBLEM. I know this is hard to do however, let it go, you cant let any including your family live in your head rent free. Stay true to yourself

    Answer by 1221mom at 7:56 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I thought I was the only one with a family like this!
    all my life I'd been pushed to be the perfect responsible one. raising my baby brother, taking care of him late into the night then my mother would wonder why my report card wasn't ask perfect as hers in school.

    she never tried to get me with a skate, but I was hurt many times, even to the point of a few years ago when my sister attacked me, threatening she was going to kill me. My mother stood right there, saw it all, and now claims that I am terribly mistaken. that I had actually fell into a chair.
    That's what she told me to saw when I was on my way to the hospital. event he ER staff said they wouldn't have believed that line!

    my mother whines to me about her terrible life, yet she's never taken my advice either.
    I'll never be sure why, but she's always looked to me as being the disappointing one. cont

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • cont-
    yet my sister used to (probably still does) shoplift, her wife acts like a abused woman, I could go on and on.

    sounds like your mother just doesn't have a good grip on reality.
    my mother used to tell me when I was a kid that I was imaging something other than the truth on anything she didn't want to deal with.

    she'd tell me that people that had died never actually existed, that I was imagining them.
    she'd make mac and cheese with chocolate milk, obviously brown. the left over milk was gone from the fridge, I'm sitting there with brown mac and cheese, yet I must be delusional to think that she used the chocolate mink to make it.
    she slipped and admitted it later.

    btw, she lost her job, party because she got busted for coming into work after having been drinking.
    I'd been saying it was a problem for years, her and my siblings take was that I was unreasonable.
    feel the way you feel, it's healthy to g

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • no ur not wrong to feel this way. im the oldest of 3 and the only girl. my mom did alot of drugs and my dad is a long time drinker. i was the one doing everything for my brothers. i babysat for money to pay for school stuff for them and me. i understand what ur saying. my youngest brother feels that im his mom. calls me mom. im 28 and he is 21. what i do in regards to my mom is we ONLY text or write letters. she is No longer aload in my home or near my kids. so maybe what u need to do is take a break from ur mom, and sis. just ignore them for a while.

    Answer by knagsmom at 9:13 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Thank you ladies. I know I need to let go. I should probably see someone to talk about it all, maybe that will help. It's just that when she calls me with her whole "you won't believe what your sister did" bull I get so pissed of.

    Comment by 4xsthetrouble (original poster) at 9:00 PM on Jan. 17, 2011