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What qualities should a bf have for a single mother?

I am a single mother. seperated from my soon to be ex husband for almost a year now. i m leary about getting back in to dating. but it is time for me to let go an move on. i cant hold on to the past any longer. and as my family says " you cant force your self to be alone the rest of your life" so my question is what qualities should a bf or a date have if i am a single mother? any and all opinions appreciated.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • as a mother you need to look for someone who is willing to accept your children as much as you. someone with patience and understanding of a life with kids. some who understands your kids come first, and does not show jealousy towards your relationship with them, compared to your bond with your children. and most of all someone who you and your kids can relate to and feel comfortable around- finding your mister right isn't easy, but you'll know when it happens [=

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Your child always comes first no matter what. So if you are looking for a "new" SO, make sure that they understand that. They also need to understand that it's a package deal. You and your child no matter what. If they can't accept that then they are worth the time.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:22 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • What they said is what I'd look for.... but a lot of men and women say they don't have a problem with it, and even get along with the kids till after it's serious/legal and then all of a sudden life with children isn't for them, they're jelous etc..
    I'd go to places for single parents and hope to find a guy that has a child already that he has a relationship with (lots of men have never laid eyes on their kids) and see how he is with his own child, and how the kids interact together, and go from there.
    Stupid as it may sound, being friends before anything else is the way to go, if you can't talk and joke etc with each other with no sexual, then you don't have much really and with kids, it's hard to even find time for sex sometimes.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:43 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Obviously your child(ren) is going to be a major consideration and concern. What the other poster's have said are very good pieces of advice. However, you are the person who wants a relationship. Have you given any consideration to what you want and need as well? What's important to you?

    Answer by kar8abun at 12:08 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I've dated a couple of men since leaving my marriage 3 years ago. What I found to be the most important quality is that he is patient and NEVER pressures you in any way. The first guy I dated for a few months was always getting mad at me for being late (because something involving my child delayed my arrival), not dropping everything for him, etc. When I met my current boyfriend (been together almost 2 years) I found him to be infinitely patient with me and my daughter. He raised 2 daughters himself - so he knows how that is. He knows my daughter comes first and is happy for that. He respects me and knows how important my time is for my daughter. He gives me the space when I need it. He is wonderful.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:11 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • i know what qualities i want. i know iw ant a guy that will accept i have children and embrace it.And also accept that they do have a father. (even tho is not around). i would like a guy who is going to treat me good. not just ok. some one who is going tobe there for me (not financially) but someone to tlka to and some one to hold me in hard times. and some one to hang out with. i think i am looking for prince charming right. but my standards are extremely high since the separation. i dont want to get hurt and i above all dont want the kids to get hurt. but like i said i do want to move on. just not sure where to start.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Nov. 13, 2008