Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think ppl look down on single moms?

I met my SO when I was pregnant and he treats my son like his own so I don't even think of myself as a single mom, but when ppl find out I'm not with his bio-dad I always get that "oh, you poor thing" look like they think he got me pregnant and left me which isn't the case. I'm sure no harm is meant by it but it's annoying. Anyone else feel this way?

 
sbastille

Asked by sbastille at 10:16 AM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Just for Fun

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • Story time!! DH had a baby before he and I met. He and his wife were together until SS was a year old. Then she just left. He had already discussed divorce with his attorney before she left. In any case, he had about 3 months between the time his wife left and the time that he and I started dating that he was alone. Apparently when you are a single dad, you don't get the "irresponsible" label. You get the hero label. It drives him crazy. He says that taking care of your children is your job as a parent and that to be fair, he was never really alone. I raised that boy like my own from the time DH let me, you know?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I initially felt this way when I left my ex. But I have come to realize that being a single mom takes an incredible amount of strength. Even though you do have a SO to help out, all the responsibility comes down on you. You have to often time be BOTH the mom and the dad. So, to me, being a single mom is nothing to be frowned upon. However, a lot of people are old fashioned and think otherwise.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:20 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • i think they do. i am a single mother. due to a divorce. and i feel like an outcast. i feel like peeps jsut kinda stare or what ever or when my kids act up in a store(face it it happens some times). people jsut dont stop to think why one is a single mother. It is not our fault the father couldnt hold up his end of the deal. it isnot our fault the father left. or in my case chose drugs over his family. So yes i feel the same way.

    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 10:24 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I was a single mom for many years and yes, sadly, I found that some people did look down on me. They assume that a single mom can't possibly have it all together and that their kids must be deprived in some way. I just stopped caring and focused on being the best parent I could be to my kids.
    mrswright1170

    Answer by mrswright1170 at 10:25 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • i think people look down on us.. im only 20 with number 2 on the way and i always get rude comments and people tellin me to get my tubes tied.. i really didnt mean to get pregnant but i cant just throw my kids away and people dont seem to understand that!!!!
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • oh yeah and WE WERENT ALWAYs SINGLE MOMS lol
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • cont.
    But SS BM has been back in the picture for a few years now and she has a boyfriend that actually takes really good care of SS, in fact he does most things for SS when he is there. In any case, she will actually remind people that she is a single mom, even though she is non-custodial and despite the fact that her boyfriend really stepped up with SS. I think that women like that, women that bank on the sympathy they will get are the ones that really make the single mothers of the world look needy. I think that being a single parent is awesome, however, it isn't something most women stew on to get attention. You all just step up and be the best parent you can be. And a lot of your dignity is stripped by the "look at me" single mom types.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:34 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • cont.
    I guess to answer your question, I do think that some people look down on single moms, but I think if all of them were as strong in the knowledge that they were doing what they needed to do for their kids as you ladies seem to be, it wouldn't be as bad for you in that aspect. I hope that makes sense, and I also hope no one found my rant offensive.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:35 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I have found that too many people tell other people way to much of their personal business. Then complain if they get a comment that they don't like.
    Jennifer875

    Answer by Jennifer875 at 10:58 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I am a single mother not by choice, things do happen in life, I was concerned that I would be looked down upon, but thankfully I have received nothing but support and encouragement. My son is well loved by family and friends and my co-workers, I never fear he is lacking love. I do worry about there not being a father figure around, but hopefully one day that will change if not I will continue doing the best I can do for my son, as I am doing.
    dionne1470

    Answer by dionne1470 at 11:09 AM on Nov. 13, 2008