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How to make amends when you/someone else have said something hurtful to a loved one

Have you ever had hurtful things said to you (or by you) from a spouse or child/teen? How did/do you cope and what are some tips or advice you would give to someone who is/has experienced this?

Answer Question
 
marsha_35

Asked by marsha_35 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • The very best thing is to just look them in the eye and apologize for what you said/did. We all say things we don't mean from time to time. Admit it when you are wrong ask for forgiveness.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 11:42 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • If I genuinely wanted to apologize, then I go up to them and share my feelings about how I regret what I said. Explain the situation and the words and hope that they forgive me. If not, then at least I did what should be done and apologized for it.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:52 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Words that are thrown around when in a argument sometimes are never forgotten. So even when an apologize is in order and is accept the words used may stick with that person. I hope not. I hope all is mending. Good-Luck.

    sheer_heart

    Answer by sheer_heart at 11:56 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • By owning up and promising never to doing it again.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • as parents we don't think the first thing comes out our month and yes it can be hurtful to other person
    i leave for bit for my self to calm down then i talk to person
    i tell them how i felt at that moment and i listen to other half
    we work together in how we can make it work
    trying not step on each toes that there need to be rules i both have to follow them
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 2:26 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • 17 year old boy swears at and calls his father names. The Father just doesn't say anything back. How to deal with that?
    marsha_35

    Comment by marsha_35 (original poster) at 6:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • That type of behavior is unacceptable. Your son needs to be told he is being rude & disrespectful to his father & that it's not allowed- period. He's still a minor & can be dealt with and made to follow the rules of home. He also needs to tell his father he's sorry for his rude behavior. You know his dad best, is he just restraining his anger by not commenting back- or does he feel like he deserves it?
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • mrsmom Hi! It's my boyfriend's son in question here. Good question. I'm beginning to wonder myself why he allows his son to talk to and treat him this way. I've told my bf that he needs to set up a time with his son and mother to have a talk and set some boundaries but bf just doesn't bother. From what I can see it appears as though my bf likes being treated like dirt! And bf also has a problem saying "no" to people. Ex wife always hollering for money. His kids hollering for money and a ride here and there. That's the only time they talk to him .... when they want something. Oh bf also can't say no to his ex's either. IE: always having to fix their cars.
    marsha_35

    Comment by marsha_35 (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • marsha 35: Sorry he has a door mat where his spine should be! He must feel this is their lame attempt at making him feel needed. But they are using him & showing him no respect whatsoever! How sad. Until he finds his voice to speak up- you are stuck watching the horror show. Sorry.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I have a BIL like that. His mother treated him like dirt. He would rather say nothing than risk being yelled at. So he never says anything to anybody but his wife. It is a darn good thing his wife is a good person. If he had married someone like his mother, oh my, that would have been bad.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 2:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

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