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2 Bumps

Is this sharing your man?

So my man is great to me and my 2 boys and I have no complaints. He's in the military and father to a four year old son from a previous marriage that he's had full custody of since a few months old. Him being in the military and being a full time father doesn't work, so he had his mom come and live with him to care for his son while he goes to work and does deployments. Now we've been together for some time and I love his family. They're great and fun to be around. We both have seperate homes. Now we've been wanting to get a home together, buy one, and it looks like mom (his) will be coming too. Well what I see at his home is that he works, comes home, cooks for him and mom and son, cleans up, caters to whatever mom needs (cigarettes, drinks, school work, everything).Then we spend our time together the entire weekend and mom texts him incessantly. Now he's not actin like a mommas boy because he devotes himself to me on our time.....but is this a touch much?

I don't know, I feel like there are two women in his life and by combining our households I'd be fighting for his attention as far as our own family, and of course I know he has his parents as I do and they deserve his time as well. But at what point is it too much?

Any ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • OP....that's my sentiments
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • If you were asked by another woman if her husband was, she felt, spending 'too much' time their family, what would your response be? Because this is what you are asking.

    You are asking if your husband should spend less time with your family.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:52 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • honestly sounds like mom has become dependent on him and needs to let go...maybe get her in to a good retirement community where she can be active?
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:54 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • no what im asking here is an opinion of what is too much "mommy" syndrome..... I understand the whole having to need your mom to help with child care, but cooking, cleaning, doing her school work, and giving in to her every whim seems to be excessive.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Get this all out on the table with your SO now - before either of you makes any decisions to make a home together.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 11:56 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • If you are married to him why would his mother live there?

    did he tell you he wanted her to be there even after you are married?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Cara, brilliant idea....I wish she was old enough to qualify LOL. I think she definitely needs to get some kind of independence going....her son is her cook, her maid, her accountant, her doctor, her everything. I've got two boys....I don't think I could do that to them.....I would have to pull my own weight.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Anon: His mom doesn't have a job, money, a place to live....and I couldn't tell him to "dump" her....god that sounds so mean. I do like her...but god...I feel like I'm fighting to get attention.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:59 AM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • @ amybaby - I'm definitely going to. I needed an opinion to see if I'm overreacting to the "mom situation" or if I possibly have some merit here.....ugh
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Im more concerned about the deployment issue. When is his next deployment? On top of the issues you are facing now, comes the fact that after he is deployed his mom is going to be with you 24/7. How do you feel about that?
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:01 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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