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3 Bumps

I've decided my marriage is over ....

Not needing to get into it much on here, but he has screwed up one too many times. So we decided to begin the process. He is 1000 miles away and hasn't been around much the last year. Anyways, he has made very poor choices in the last year to affect this family. I am so sad and lost for my children, they are 15m and 2 1/2...the older already misses his dad and asks daily for him, where is he, answers the phone saying Hello Daddy when my phone rings.... This isn't what I wanted but know for me, I can't stay in a marriage like this. It breaks my heart for my children that he was selfish and not thinking his choices would affect them. I feel like a statistic now. I didn't want to be married to get divorced with babies in the mix of it. I know they'll adjust. As will I.
I guess my question is, as far as my oldest, what will I have to look for. How will this affect them? He then deploys in a year and a half or so. But knowing he is a 16 hour drive away it's not like he can just jump in a car and see them whenever he wants. Any knowledge and advice on the subject appreciated!


Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 1:41 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,069 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I went through this myself, and you can do it and trust me, you and your kids will all get through it. They are young enough that you can make this transition become their 'normal' way of life. My son is 5 and in the last year has adjusted pretty well to our divorce. Believe me, I went through the same emotions and thoughts you said you are having...and more. It is a bit of a roller coaster, but I know in my heart I am happier not being with him and all the crap he dealt us. We set the precedent that although we're not married or together anymore we are always mom and dad and will always take care of our son. He knows what days and times he is with Dad, stays there, goes out with him, etc. And I think having that openness and schedule has allowed him to adjust. If you ever want to chat, message me, You're stronger than you think and you can do this. Best wishes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:23 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I haven't gone through a divorce, but I wsh you the best.

    Answer by Bennett121 at 1:42 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • do you have someone who could step in as a father figure? your dad, your brother, a cousin? also have you thought about the kids staying in contact with your ex thru SKYPE? maybe he can tell them goodnight each night by video.

    Answer by lillie70 at 2:25 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • My BFF is in a similar situation. She struggles with it daily. There aren't really any answers. She just does her best for them and watches for any signs and tries to help them cope. I'm sorry you're in this situation. It's rough, but I'm glad you're doing what is best for you and your children. *hug*

    Answer by kaseyp84 at 1:44 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I have no words of wisdom for you ((((((HUGS))))) .

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:44 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • good luck I am sorry that you are going through this

    Answer by ChanQ at 2:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • You can do this!Do not be afraid!!You are never alone and always remember you are doing this for a reason,you!Hang in there and know you can do it,and be stronger for it.Proud of you,hope the best for you.Hugs for you,and your babies..

    Answer by grismelda at 4:09 PM on Jan. 17, 2011