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3 Bumps

Why would someone give their child such a make-over?

DH and I have two friend who have a little girl- she is 8 now. They moved to Europe in December 2009 and now they are back. When they left their daughter was a very cute little girl! Brown hair, the brightest green eyes I have ever seen, fair skin, a little chubby and very sweet!

Now they back and their daughter looks like a short 17-yr-old. She lost her baby fat, that's ok. Her hair is blond and red now, her skin is way too tanned for January and she also wears flippers to cover her missing teeth. It's like they brought another kid back from Europe, I swear, she doesn't look anything like the adorable little girl she was a year ago. Oh, and her mom is obsessed with beauty pageants now..

I think this is sick. I know they love their daughter very much but has gotten way out of hand. And their DD is more into sports that pageants, she doesn't seem to enjoy her new self. She was a happy child when she left. Now she's shy and self-conscious.

Do you think there's something I can do? We're pretty good friends and I would like to talk to her, but do you think I should stay out of this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • MYOB.
    kgsharber

    Answer by kgsharber at 2:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • imo if you have to change the appearance of your child in order for them to be in a beauty pageant then they're not a true beauty
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 2:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Stay out unless that little girl is not a happy camper.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • flippers I agree are stupid for kids. but if she was playing out side and got tanned I think that is fine. If it is a spray tan... then the parents have simply lost it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • You can try to talk to her if you think that will help. Being that young and already having issues yeah just talk to her Good luck hun.

    PS. If
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 2:29 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I would stay out of this one. Pretty good friends have turned into pretty horrible enemies pretty quickly in situations like this.
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 2:29 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • just pray for the kid..... anything you say will come off as judgey. Even in the nicest way. It's horrible but not abusive so you can only sit back, watch, and feel awful for her
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:29 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Depends, are you willing to not be her friend anymore, if she doesn't value your advice or suggestions? I would tell her in a delicate way- or even make a light joke out of it, saying how she went to Europe all sweet and innocent and came back like a mini street walker! Its outrageous-i know- but in a joke, you can get away with it. The bottom line is she is trying to market her for pageants or the "girl with something different" and that is what she did. You could probably argue that the makeover is extreme and unneccessary- but its not your daughter. If you are really close friends, the mom would probably value your opinion, and consider making her under. Or, you could try to. Subtle hightlights, to bring out her green eyes, and the tan will fade. Tell her that honestly, the look doesn't match her personality. Women, sometimes will appreciate the honesty and concern you show.
    calatres

    Answer by calatres at 2:41 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • You are walking on thin ice with this one. I've seen those pageant shows and they are disgraceful! ALL children are beautiful & should NEVER be told one is more beautiful than another. If your friend has been sucked into this twisted world, then Lord help that poor child. About they only way I could think of to approach this w/out coming off judgmental, is to say, "Wow look how you've changed." And then ask about what she (the child) likes- as far as sports, school. Maybe if mom can wake up & realize her dau would rather be running on the playing field, than down a runway, she'll wake up before she does some permanent psychological damage to her dau.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:00 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I know its hard..but stay out of it. It's terrible..and disturbing..but not anyone's business except theirs.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 8:49 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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