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I feel bad but it felt nice, ended up feeling good, but man oh man.

My man and I have been together 3+ years. It's been pure hell. I won't lie. Hell. But we work thru it. I got a call from an old friend. We talked for 3 hours. Nothing major just caught up.
Now years ago him and I had some flirting, we both said no this is bad. Both went our own ways. Stayed casual friends.
Anyway, It felt so good to have somebody talk to me again. and it was nice drama free, no name calling, no bashing, just talking about life stuff. no undertones of anything just friendly chat.
and now i'm eagerly anticipating the next call. I NEED, i WANT i LOVED hearing a nice voice talk to me. I really miss nice men. But then I felt bad for talking to him for 3 hours. About nothing really, just talking.
How would I feel knowing my man did the same thing. Oh yeah I was livid mad. when i found out. Told him and then I was the bad guy for snooping. worked thru that. I'm just tired of being a verbal punching bag. Im tired of his drama, i'm tired of him. I don't like him at all. but then I think we can work thru anything. Right? or am i dillusional?
We have no kids together. dang it. I know cut my losses and run while I have some dignity left.
Sorry letting this out here. I don't want my family to find me. yes they are on this site.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If you don't like him then why would you want to work through anything? If you're not happy and it's not a good relationship then leave, it's better for both of you.
    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 3:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • cut your loses and set yourself free! There are nice men out there!
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 3:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Why would you take all that crap from him, if you don't even like him? I say walk. Better for the both of you. He is most likely trying his hardest to make you so miserable that you walk, so do it. You will be a much happier person.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 3:21 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Sounds like you know what to do. Do it before you waste another minute of your life in a relationship that is bringing you that much negativity.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • if u are not married & have no kids & u are not happy with him, then WHY stay? life is too short. u deserve to be happy. nothing is keeping u there, & u see first hand what it feels like to be happy again.i know 1st hand, that once u leave a bad situation, after time u so regret not doing it sooner!! without the sneaking around, just cut yourself free, then u are not betraying anyone, including yourself.
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I guess it's just been this way for so long. I lost myself somewhere. And then I start this line of thinking and he turns nice and back to what I originally knew. i know it doesn't last. But then I see all these marriages and relationships that have lasted years and years. I know they had their issues too. I know relationships have bumps. But is this a bump o series of bumps, or is this really just a shi*tty life.

    I look a back at previous relationships and think dear lord I know how to pick douche bags lol.
    I'm in my mod 30's. it's not like im just young and have no life clue. this is just ridiculous that I even have to ask this stuff.
    Ahhhh i'm battling in my own head. but I do thank everybody that is taking their time to respond to me. I really do appreciate. Really I do!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I just left a guy like your man and am now with a new guy who spends hours talking to me and actually listening! He even likes me. I miss the guy I've been with for years but I deserve better than to not be appreciated by someone I gave so much to. It's an adjustment but I made the right decision to leave
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:31 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • if you dont like him and donthave anything for him i would just get out but i would try to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you really felt and just tell him that your feelings that you had before with him its not there any more and tell him you think its the best if we end it right now before one of you guys get hurt
    tammy372011

    Answer by tammy372011 at 4:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • "but then I think we can work thru anything" I used to tell myself that back with my Ex fiance. no, you can't. there may be many things that you can work through, but I don't believe that two people can work through anything.

    I say cut your losses and don't waste time and a man you aren't happy with .
    Life is too short for that.

    things may not work out with the other man either, but I know the feeling.
    I left my ex because I finally got what it was like to be able to spend fun time with people, without all the crap.
    dont stay with him just to prove a point like I did. I didn't want to be someone that had broken engagement in their past.

    know what? I'm now 40, been married about 12 years now and the fact that I was engaged before doesn't mean a tiny rats as* !!!

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Don't settle- you deserve to be with someone you enjoy not just sticking it out because you've been together for a while. BTW what you felt today is what it's supposed to feel like =)

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:06 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

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