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What would you do with a 14 yr old who seems to hate school?

She hates school. She frequently cries about it and says she just can't do it. She says she has no friends and she's doing badly in all her subjects even with me going over subjects with her in the evening every night. She genuinely can't seem to grasp anything, she gets it when we're talking and then two seconds later it seems to leave her head. Her friends are frequently mean to her, not to the level of picking on her at all, she just doesn't fit in with them. Most of her year are asian also because we live in an area with a high asian population and they speak different languages amongst themselves and tend to exclude other members. I've been called into school so many times about how she's failing certain subjects and doesn't seem to be taking anything in in lessons. She doesn't mess around she says they just go too fast for her.

We've looked into other schools but there are none close enough that don't have awful reputations.

Ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • Whats your daughters nationality?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • She's half English/half American.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:04 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Well id speak to her teachers about her progress look into a tutor and encourage her to take up outside activities like music or dance whatever she is into then she can develop friendships outside of school and maybe even a close friendship with someone at her school, and Id take her out let her get new clothes a new hairstyle something to make her feel special and renewed. 14 is a hard age especially when u are viewed as different from others she needs support and extra love good luck
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • maybe she has a learning disorder that makes it trouble for her to remember the stuff she learned, & if so there is nothing to be ashamed of, & its not that uncommon! if this is the case (since shes not messing around & genuinely trying), then she by law deserves extra help, with special education. there are a lot of really smart people that need extra attention & help. look into it. & as far as the friends thing that is sad. it can make school dreadful. does she have friends outside of school? (cousins, or anything? kids she knows thru association that dont go to her school?) if she does, then encourage them to hang out as much as possible outside of school so even if her real friends arent in school with her, just knowing she has some will make her life more bearable.& somone to look forward to seeing & venting to when the school day is over. if she has none, maybe try meeting some, in outside activities, what does she like?
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 4:13 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Schedule a meeting w/ her guidance counselor & the school psychologist. See what kind of options they offer. Maybe they have an Alternative program @ her school - usually that means smaller classes, more one on one attention.

    Has the school made any suggestions when they've called you in for meetings?

    I have to say, it sounds like your daughter is depressed & may need to talk to someone. Depression can make it difficult to retain information.
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Have her tested to rule out any learning disabilities.
    Look in to therapy, she might be battling depression.
    Don't just call the school, ask for a meeting with the guidance counselor and the teachers.

    And any testing you want - PUT IN WRITING. If you put it in writing the LEGALLY have to respond in a certain number of days to your request.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:02 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Look into an online school or move to an area where she will be more comfortable and let her start over the last grade. This is serious.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:36 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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