• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What is the best way to curb tantrums?

My daughter is 13 months old and already throws terrible tantrums! She stamps her feet and screams this horrible scream. She sometimes arches her back and clenches her fists and makes a terrible noise. She does it when she doesn't get what she wants or I don't pay attention to her for 3 seconds. Please help!

Answer Question
 
kristenestelle

Asked by kristenestelle at 6:31 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • When she realises that  the fits will not get her what she wants. she will stop having fit. 

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:36 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Put her down if you are holding her, and once she is down and on her own, walk away from her. Ignore her until she's done screaming. No matter HOW hard it gets to hear the screaming, do NOT give in and give her your attention. Kick this in the butt now, and you will be glad you did. The older she gets, the longer she will be able to last. Talking to her, looking at her, in ANY way will only make the tantrum worse. Don't worry, she will get over this stage, they all do.
    3gifts.from.god

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 6:43 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • If u see it coming, distract.

    If its already going on, hold her in ur lap and sternly tell her she is not acting appropriately.

    Worked for my son but all kids are different.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 6:45 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • There are some good answers here.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 6:46 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I agree with 3gifts.from.god
    my niece started doing this, no her mommy and Daddy seemed like they were at witts end. Then she started doing this with my DH and me. DH told her 'it's OK to feel how you feel' we told her we'd be in the other room if she wanted to talk about it. She's pitch a fit for maybe 5 mintues, and quiet down. she'd want to be alone for a few more minutes, then she'd come in saying that she felt a little better, and she'd tell us what made her mad.
    Her Mommy and Daddy started doing the same, and things got much better.

    but mostly I think she just needed to out grow it.
    I was the same way when I was a kid. I'd throw my fit, want to be alone for a bit, then I'd get on with it.
    I don't like the idea of people being made to hold in their feelings.
    So what if a kid screams for few minutes, not like the world will end. won't last forever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Walk away if distracting her doesn't help. She will start to see tantrums don't go anywhere with mommy
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 6:53 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • From Experience, Some kids throw tantrums easily. You need to be careful how you handle them (If you want this phase to be over. ) If you have half a chance of being heard --Ask her to show you what she wants (since she can't tell you). ( I believe a child knowing basic sign language helps at this age.) If she just wants her way -firmly tell her "No-- Not while your screaming" . Walk away / ignore the behavior-/act like you don't even see her ! If she follows you- ask again, "Show me" or "Use your words & tell mommie" (as she gets older). Above all else NEVER give in to her when she is acting this way or you will keep this up for a long time. Even BAD Attention From Mom -is still Attention and -a child- just learning " The Art of Controling Life & People around You " quickly learns that when I do this --mom Gives/ Does This! The pattern is set! Also make sure someone else is not giving in to this behavior!
    gram22

    Answer by gram22 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.