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how do I let my adult son know he disappointed me whenhe sent no christmas gifts


Asked by piperpuppy at 7:53 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • Honey, you have to drop this. You will only make things worse if you try and wedge yourself back in. The old idiom is true - your daughter's your daughter the rest of her life, your son's your son til he takes a wife. The number one woman in his life IS and should be his wife. Who cares what her family does for them. So you can't "buy their love" like her family is probably doing, but just be happy with what do have. A son that is focused on his family.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I don't think it's right or in the spirit of the season to EXPECT any, so I wouldn't say anything at all.

    Answer by misses_nick at 7:56 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Did he send anyone gifts? Were you singled out for some reason? Maybe he just didn't think about it. Maybe he just couldn't afford it. Christmas is about giving not receiving.  But talk to him about it and tell him at least send a card next year. 


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 7:57 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I have a question: Can your adult son afford gifts? Are gifts some requirement? And to answer: You don't.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:55 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • gosh.... that is a TOUGH ONE. Is he possibly having secret financial issues?

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:55 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I can't imagine being upset with my grown children for not sending us gifts. I have been upset that my oldest was off heavens knows where and sent nothing for his children that we are raising..but that's a way different issue. In the realm of what's doesn't even register. I say let it go.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:06 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • You're dissapointed because your son didn't send YOU Christmas gifts? Since when is the Christmas Holiday about gifts? And ontop of that, why is it REQUIRED for a child or parent to give gifts? Do you not see how absolutely selfish you're being? Whether he can afford them or not he has no obligation to send gifts. Sending gifts as well does not determin anything other then a material expression. Which means absolutely nothing.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I agree with misses_nick. I wouldn't expect gifts. I would rather prefer no gifts.

    Answer by Snewo at 7:57 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Tell him. Call him up and ask him how he's doing,ask if he's having financial difficulties,etc.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:01 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I agree that recieving not what is important just to know he thought of me(mom) is just such a change in his behavior. This is just so out of charachter for him.... he was married 3 years ago and they also mentioned gifts they bought her family. My son called to thank us for the gifts we sent , i never got a thank you from my Daughter-in-law..I feel like I have lost the son, that was so apprciative of all we ever gave him and he gave back from his heart her parents spend tons of money on them buy them a car and now a house......

    Comment by piperpuppy (original poster) at 8:30 PM on Jan. 17, 2011