Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Travel for visitation

My ex has been in out and of my 5 year old dd's life. He is moving so that he will be 360 miles away. He says he is going to take me to court for visitation 1 weekend a month. My dd doesn't want to see him, my husband is basically her daddy now but I don't want her to ever ask me why I kept her away from her dad so I told him that if he wants 1 weekend a month, I wouldn't fight it, however as he has never paid child support, he will have to start paying and pay 5 years worth of back child support. But now he is saying that he wants me to do half the traveling! He wants me to drive 180 miles to meet him half way on friday and then drive 180 home then drive 180 miles to pick her on sunday and then drive 180 miles home which would mean my entire friday evening and most of my Sunday to drive a total of 720 miles when he never even bothered to call more then 6 times a year before. I told him no. He said that if he has to do all the driving then he would be driving most of the weekend. I told him too bad, he's the one who wants in on her life, why doesn't he move closer if he is so interested in her. What is he, crazy?????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Yeah... Tell him if he wants visitation either he doesn't move so far away or he'll do all the traveling. No court will agree to what he wants.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:36 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • It sounds crazy. But the court does crazy things. They say that child support does not enter into visitation. Get a lawyer and document everything.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:37 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • Unfortunately the judge will most likely agree with your ex. And yes it's a lot of traveling, but its for you daughter.

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:38 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • The court system in my county states that if the non custodial parent moves, they are responsible for all the traveling unless both parents agree upon it. I know that chld support and visitation are separate however, I have never gone after child support, now that he wants visitation, I am and I have every right to do so

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I don't understand why you didn't go for the child support before. It is your daughter's right to be financially taken care of by both parents. If you were doing without it by choice before it sounds like you are using it now as a punishment because your daughter's father wants to be a part of her life. Kudos to you, great example for your daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My x and I have joint custody and he has visitation every other weekend. A few years ago we were both living in Virginia (we were both stationed in the military there), then he moved back home to Indiana when he got discharged. It was BOTH of our responsibility to do the traveling. As crappy as it was, its what had to be done.

    Answer by gumby11883 at 1:40 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • tell him to go to court. let them decide. he will have to do all the traveling and that is that. if that is what the state law says. i would speak to a lawyer about it. maybe just sending her for long vacations. or longer weekends. summer vacations, winter break, ect. i know my cousin has that situation with daughter she is in texas and he is in florida. but all vacations she is in florida. so i would go to court. and def get the child support.

    Answer by lambdarose at 11:48 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Anon, I was able to take care of my dd. He said when she was born that he really didn't want to a a part of her life, he didn't want vistation so I didn't go for child support. However, if he wants to play daddy now, he is gonna pay his part of supporting her and the support goes back from since she was born

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.