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Does anyone else feel like crap if they're a less than perfect mom sometimes?

I don't know what my deal is, but unless my son is happy 24/7 I start blaming myself. Like my recent question about tantrums...he's a toddler and I've felt like I've done something wrong bc he's starting throw tantrums occasionally. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I always feel like if he's not completely happy all the time that I must not be doing a good job. It's in all areas...if he eats something too sugary, I feel bad, if I have to tell him "no" too often, I feel bad. If I forget a hat and it's cold out, I feel bad. I guess I need to accept that everything is not going to be perfect all of the time. I really don't know why I hold myself to such a high standard, but I do. I guess it's bc I'm a sahm and I feel like this is my job and is the most important thing I've ever done. I just love him so much and want to do everything right for him.

Does anyone else feel this way? Any words of wisdom to help me lighten up?


Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 11:49 PM on Jan. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (15)
  • I see that as the mark of a good mother. It sucks that we feel bad about so much but that's where a wonderful husband comes in to reaffirm how much you do right.

    Answer by at 12:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think all moms do it it is impossible to be both the best friend & parent lol dont feel bad no matter what they will always love their mommy & when there older they will be able to tell you how much they appreciate the things you do & have done in the past

    Answer by Marie_07 at 11:53 PM on Jan. 17, 2011

  • I think it's part of our culture to think we have to be able to do everything. We know logically we can't always be perfect, but we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be anyway. I especially feel awful when my MIL takes over where I screwed up. But she's perfect. Ya know.

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You should start keeping a journal about all the great things you do for your son. Surely the list will be 100times as long as the list of less than perfect things.

    Also whenever I start feeling bad about not being perfect I come here and see how lucky my kids are. It is normal to fret about making our kids lives perfect, but the thing is that if they have the perfect upbringing they will be unprepared for the real world. Just remember that each time they have some resistance and obstacles, they grow emotionally.


    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:09 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Yes, I do feel that sometimes, and extreme guilt for silly things sometimes, but I just try to tell myself that he is a HAPPY HAPPY baby, so u must be doing something right! Like everyone always tells me, there is NO book on rules of motherhood, so u just do the best u can....they feel ur love!

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 9:48 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • no i never thought i could or would be a perfect mom i just try to do my best for him.. i only feel like crap when he gets sick

    Answer by Lynnsae at 12:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Thank you I guess I just want to be the perfect mom to him and obviously, no one is perfect. Your name made me smile bc my son's name is Cooper and I call him Coop. :)

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • But she's perfect. Ya know. "

    Aren't all MIL's perfect, lol!?

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Thank you SleepingBeautee. You make a lot of excellent points. I give him my all, all the time, and that's going to have to be good enough, lol. :)

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 12:11 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I don't know if I feel like crap, I think at the time I'm doing the right thing, or hope that I am. We all do the best we can, but in societies eyes that's not always good enough. As long as my kids grow up happy healthy and wise, and law abiding citizens I feel I've done a pretty good job along the way with some of that, and most likely made a few mistakes a long the way as most Mothers do. Do I feel like crap, no as I said, I think at the time I was doing what was right then.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

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