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3 Bumps

How do you know when you are losing yourself?

More people are telling me that I dont have a life of my own. All that I do is just hang with my hubby. I always desire to be present with him and he seems to want the same. Today I took a test in a magazine and you want to know what it told me? You guessed it, I hang out too much with my hubby.

I am currently a SAHM. Do you think that I could be losing myself? My mother thinks that my hubby is abusing me... What?

Answer Question
 
35yoamom

Asked by 35yoamom at 12:13 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • ummm not sure about abuse because their are many forms of abuse. BUT if you two are content and thats how you choose to spend you time then I don't see the issue....

    maybe your mom feel he controls you? I don't know since I don't really know your situation...
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • bow downwhen you live your life to please others and don't live it to make yourself happy. although a bit of compromise goes a long way when in a relationship....

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If you're doing what you enjoy, what business is it of anyone else's? Really --why are you seeking out criticism? Do you get a lot of your advice from magazine quizzes? I've written them --do you still think they're 'probably' accurate?

    Whose life do these critics think you have, if you're doing what you want to?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I know a few women that spend all there free time with their husband and like it that way...I'm with my husband 24/7 and it does get old and I'm lost because my life has been nothing but the care and feeding of my kids and husband...I would not know what to do with a girls night out...if it ever happened I'd probably end up having so much fun I wouldn't go home, lol
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:58 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If you are happy and content that is all that mattrs
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 1:21 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • The idea of losing yourself is more...what do you enjoy. I kept thinking the same. I figured Me time was locking the bathroom door for a shower or sitting on the computer with head phones while the kids use the TV in the same room. There are times one needs to just get out and be oneself. It gives you experience to grow as a person...as well as a story that your SO hasn't already witnessed first hand. I'm not really one to answer this because I AM the 24/7 person. I enjoy living for others, I put myself last, but I at least knew who I was. It's just a step back. Like, what do you want to be when you grow up...when the kids grow up and move out on their own. I don't know when you lost yourself. I think when you start questioning things...where you are in life, what you did with your life...and are you happy...if you can't answer any of those...then maybe you lost yourself. -Shrugs-
    Imortlmommy

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 1:30 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It strikes me as odd that people are concerned that you are spending too much time with your husband! If this is what you both want then so be it. I truley think it is a good thing. If you need time for yourself then take it if not I would not worry about what other people say or think your happiness is what matters!
    bellesmom5

    Answer by bellesmom5 at 1:34 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Thanks for trying lmortl I feel like you might understand the most!
    35yoamom

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 1:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You're right Belle. It seems odd to me too!
    35yoamom

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 1:36 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Are you happy when you are with your husband? Do you feel complete when you are with him? How can you possibly spend too much time with the man you love? My husband works in another country for 5 weeks at a time, when he is home I am NEVER away from him.. Where he goes I go, what he does I do..
    Be proud that you have a relationship where you can and want to spend all your time with your husband.. Toss the magazine and tell your friends and mother to mind their own business..
    ObiRenKenobi

    Answer by ObiRenKenobi at 8:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

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