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How do I tell her she pissed me off without cursing her out?

My cousin and I live in the same apartment complex. We're the same age and were raised the same way. I have a six year old daughter. She has a six year old son and a three year daughter. So every now and then she wants the kids to get together to play and this that and the other, no biggie. Well the other day we rented movies for the kids, I cooked for them (using my food), the whole nine. Once the movie started she fell asleep. So I practically cared for them. Now in my house we don't run around well because there is only one child here. I teach my daughter to ask before she gets or does anything, and I teach my daughter that a persons bedroom is OFF LIMITS, period! Her children come over and do the exact opposite of what I teach my child. They opened my apple juice that happened to be in the cupboard because I don't keep all my juice in the refridge, (even though I told them all they could have was the bottled water in the ice box) they also told me that they didn't want the chicken nuggets cause I baked them and didn't fry them. Ungrateful gremlins if you ask me! Anyway. Today I went over to her house and her kids had left with their dad and my daughter was playing with some of their toys. One of which happened to be in her room. I figured no biggie because it was right in the doorway not all the way in her room. She calls for my daughter and says get outta my room there is nothing in there for you to play with? (this upset me) So I made my daughter gather the toys together and I put them back in her room, and I gathered the toys together in the living room and stacked them in the corner and we left. She's been calling and showing up to my house all day asking if I'm mad and if so what for? Should I tell her but further more how?

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prissysayshi

Asked by prissysayshi at 12:21 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,783 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • 1. Get over it, it's not important enough to fall out over.
    2. Consider that there is something private or dangerous in her room (like a loaded gun) and assume you don't know why she told your daughter to stay out, but it might be a good reason
    3. Get over it, it's not important enough to fall out over.
    4. Respect her right to determine who is allowed in which parts of her home --unless you have no limits at all about who does what in which rooms of your home, you're a hypocrite.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would talk to her about it if you are close and want to continue the relationship. Basically I would say what you said here but leave out the Ungrateful gremlins part.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 12:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • talk to her the more you let it pass the more heated it will get.. so i would just talk it out.. and if the kids felt that way and acted that way you should of woke her up and told her kids to ask there mom... it's what i do.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 12:31 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • What LindaClement said. You make it sound like your daughter is an angel, while your cousin's kids are little hellions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If there is a gun in there then the room should be locked!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 12:40 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think the problem is that she feels free to discipline your daughter in her apt, but you don't feel free to do the same w/ her kids @ your apt.

    Do you want to keep hanging out w/ her & her kids? If you do, maybe you can talk to her about the rules in both your houses, ask her to help her kids stick to the rules at your house & you'll do the same w/ your daughter. But don't question her parenting style OR say anything negative about her kids. I have to tell you, they just sound like normal kids - especially at 6 and 3.

    If you had a problem w/ her sleeping while the kids were @ your house, you should have woken her up. Ask for what you want but don't get mad about her doing things differently. Unless you told her differently, she & her kids haven't done anything wrong.
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 8:53 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • yes you should tell her
    tammy372011

    Answer by tammy372011 at 9:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Your house, your rules. Her house her rules. You have every right to enforce what goes on in your house just as she does. Instead of confronting change tactics.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:07 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • @Anon it drives me insane when people like you come on and say something that wasn't stated in the post. You are the reason I think the Anon button is useless. No where in here did I say or make like my daughter was a saint. I said what I teach her is x,y and z! Doesn't means she's a saint or that she always listens and/or gets it. Goodness try reading it all the way thru instead of bring so quick to hit the Anon button and blurt out something that makes you sound silly!
    prissysayshi

    Comment by prissysayshi (original poster) at 12:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I said you SOUND LIKE your daughter is a saint...if you don't want advice then don't post a question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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