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How does one request custody and visitation modification based on ex's anger and bahavior?

Hello Everyone,

Would appreciate any advise :)

I am newly divorced, just final 6 weeks ago, and everything has changed since.

My ex and I have joint legal custody and I have physical custody. Our girls are with me 4 - 4 1/2 days a week as we alternate weekly and I really dislike the confusion it causes but that is not the main issue.

My ex is a habitual liar (the reason of the divorce) and in my opinion is mentally and emotionally unbalanced. He was on his very best behavior with our girls during the seperation and even said that he would fight for 50/50 custody until our 2 girls (ages 10 and 12) told him that they wanted to live with me the majority of the time.

Since our divorce was final, just 6 weeks ago, everything has changed. He is now mean to the girls, almost to the point of neglect, yells at them constantly and barely provides any care of Parenting. Some of this I hear from my girls. Some I see myself. Examples would be - he took them skiing last Friday night, he does not ski, the girls asked where they should meet him and was told in the restaurant, when they were done and went to their meeting place he was not there, my 12 year old was smart enough to have him paged, but he did not show up for 30 minutes later and then told the girls he didn't hear the page because he was "moving his car". I have found out he has been stopped by the police a(with my girls in the car) 4 times in the last month - twice for speeding and twice for texting. He is unsafe and irrational in his thinking. We live in Michigan and he does not own a snow brush. He thinks it is fun to take the girls grocery shopping at 11:00 pm on a school night. Many more things but all like the above examples. It is like once he lost the 50/50 custody (which I know was only because of child support) he has so little concern for his actions and how they effect our children.

This part is huge - he was diagnosed with Parkinson disease 9 months ago. He is currently taking 11 different prescriptions. I have always wondered if he was bio polar and still do but now wonder if all of these meds are combining with his emotional state and adding to his lack of judgement. Because of the meds - he is usually stoned and asleep or stoned and awake and uncaring.

I am not sure how to proceed. I am waiting for a call back from the Friend of the court but not sure how fare that will get me. I fear I will hear that I haven't given it enough time. I do not see the situation improving as this is the real him coming out.

Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated!!!

Answer Question

Asked by dittowon at 1:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i would say talk to a lawyer. GL

    Answer by Lynnsae at 1:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Hate to say it, but you need to get a lawyer. Also start documenting EVERYTHING. Get a copy of the reports where he was pulled over as well. & get affidavits of anyone who witnesses this behavior.

    Answer by eeyoreplus4 at 1:15 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Keep a record of all calls, texts, interactions and everything!!

    Answer by Collegemommy910 at 8:38 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You have to document everything - and get to a lawyer. If you withhold visitation you can be in big trouble for violating the court order.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:02 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Document, document, document - keep a journal of everything the kids say after visits. And go talk to a lawyer.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:24 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • go back to court. his health is a problem . your girls safety is important

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 1:27 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • frustrated


    Answer by sherribeare at 3:15 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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