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How soon do you "let them cry?"

I have 7 week old twin girls that are normally extremely happy babies. But after feedings sometimes (most of the time) we need to hold them until they're completely asleep or we can't put them down without lots of crying.

I know nothing's wrong with them. They are fed, burped, changed, right temperature. They're starting to fight sleep I think.

Of course my first instinct is to pick them up and cuddle them until they're happy again. My mom says that they're fighting sleep and by us holding them until they're all the way under that we're spoiling them and letting them 'train' us not to be able to put them down normally later.

Is this true? How old should babies be before it's ok to let them cry it out since I know they're ok? What To Expect the First Year says that for the entire first 6 months to pick them up whenever they cry so they can learn to trust me that I'll be there and take care of them when they need something.

So, how old can they cry to soothe without help from me? Are we spoiling them? If so, what do we do?

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Asked by twinsmom12110 at 2:38 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (29 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • some babies just like to be cuddled :) i dont let my little cry it out for sleep, but say i really need to do dishes and he is fed, chasnged ect but clingy, ill hurry and do as much as i can then pick him up and cuddle him, i started this around 6mo when he started sitting up and playing on his own, newbons still dont fully understand they are seperate beings from mama :)

    Answer by SimplyErathy at 2:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would listen to your mom cus the more you hold them in your arms the more they get use to it and gonna wanna be held all the time and you wont be able to get nothing done around the house especially if your gonna be the only one at home so its hard i should know my sister in law had twins and thats all they would do was hold them and it just got worse as they got older .

    Answer by alexia_09 at 5:41 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • We always found it worked best for us to get into a sleep time routine that was always the same. Bath, diaper change, perhaps swaddling, lights out, drapes pulled, soft music on or singing, cuddling/rocking/swaying. When the baby got drowsy he was laid down. If done in the same manner, all the time, the baby picks up on the cues and knows it's time for sleeping. The lady I do childcare for has also asked me to follow a set routine with her baby. If the baby cries at all it isn't for long. And I don't mean screaming his lungs out, but minor fussing. This is what worked for us. Our kids were good sleepers and happy babies.  Good luck!!


    Answer by elizabr at 6:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • theyre a little young to be spoiled at 7 weeks .... i would say around 4 months is when you have to worry about spoiling them with the cuddles and the rocking... you can start to try towean them off now if it works for y ou..rock them till theyre almost asleep and then put them down..but also do what works best for you..if its convenient for you to cuddle your babies go for it..if not then do what you need to do to teach them to self soothe

    Answer by zperez0809 at 8:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You CAN NOT spoil a baby. And you should be picking them up when they cry until 6 months so, that is correct. NTM, you have twins, technically they have never been alone, do they sleep together? They still can until they are rolling over and waking each other up.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:47 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • CIO experts agree with "What to Expect." No sooner than six months.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Personally, I wouldn't leave a child to cry until they were old enough to be having a tantrum (and were actually having one)... and I'd never let a child cry themselves to sleep. Sleep can be a scary thing and it may take more time and effort on our part to help them with it until they are old enough to put themselves to sleep, but it's worth it, IMO. Creating good sleep associations is important in my book, letting my kids know they will always be secure and well taken care of with me is important.

    That all said, it's just my opinion. Do your own research. G is right, the "experts" say 6 months minimum, I'm sure you'll find more info on one of their websites. Also read up on the research Harvard did on the subject.

    Answer by LeanneC at 10:29 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My son is five months old and every time he cries I pick him up. He is a very sweet and happy baby so when he cries I assume it's for a reason. Family members and friends constantly tell me that I'm spoiling him, but I can't help it. It sends a panic button off when he cries. Maybe I am spoiling him. Either way, I think you have to do whatever is comfortable for you.

    Answer by rpetullo at 4:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • When do you start letting them Cry it out.... The day after never.
    babies arent meant to sleep alone, they aren't meant to be away from thier parents, Period. Back when we were cave dwellers, infants slept within arms reach of thier parents. This was to ensure thier SAFTY and comfort. This way no wild, baby eating animals would come a steal them in the night. Sorry to report to you hun but even with advances in techology and the fact that very few wild animals ever steal babies in the night... Babies themselves don't know this! thus they don't like to be alone! Thus they cry and fuss when left alone. They aren't trying to drive you crazy, manipulate you, They are just telliing you "hey mom! Picks us up! i don't like being alone"

    Find something that works but always remember this... if you were 7 weeks old, would you want the only people you've ever known to put you in a dark room and leave you there to cry?

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 6:20 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Never at that young age.Get into 5 or 6 months and then they can cry a bit,but 7 wks way too young to let cry!!

    Answer by grismelda at 3:15 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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