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Should I say something??

We live in a huge house, us on one side, a friend from church on the other side. The older couple (60s) have another family, just a mom and a 17yr old girl upstairs. We are close to the older couple. They all moved in at the same time. The mom quit her job to move here now refuses to work, had even said no to several job offers. Her only income is SS from her daughter whos father died 10 yrs ago. Anyways.... they are lazy, dont clean, dont work, dont contribute at all except half the rent. They keep a puppy in the 17yr olds room all day, not trained, poop everywhere. The older couple is struggling to provide for themselves let alone 2 more people. My older friend has come over several times in tears cuz the mom wont help or pay for anything, not even food. She doesnt want me to say anything because we all live together and she wants to keep it peaceful. But she is paying for all the food, 100+ a week, cable, phone, heat(just filled tank 395 bucks) and their medications. Its too much for her, she works at a store 40 hrs a week. I want to say something to the mom. She sits in her room all day playing games on facebook. She is just lazy.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If the older couple doesn't want you to get involved, I would honor that request. However, the next time she comes to you in tears, tell her she needs to get some help to either get those people out of her house or to get them to at least take care of their rooms. Since she is a friend from church, the pastor would be a good person to whom you can refer her. Maybe she will trust him enough to follow his suggestions. I could not sit idly by and see my friends being mistreated and/or abused. What they need is someone whom they trust to encourage them to stand up to a woman who is obviously taking advantage of them. It makes me angry, and I don't even know them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:37 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • yeah, tell her she is lazy & needs to get off her ass & help out more.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It's probably best not to say anything unless it could be worked into casual conversation about job hunting etc, but it might not do any good.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would get together with the older couple and write a contract. What is expected out of each family, how much they need to contribute to food, or the gas bill, and rent. I'd also put something in there about the puppy. Then have this lady sign it. She needs to help accountable for her and her daughter
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 9:02 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would just stay out of it until it becomes way to out of hand. Its not really your problem but someone does need to do something.
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 9:04 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • unless its a safety issue and lives are at risk, I would personally stay out of it.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Is there something more wrong with the mom other than just being lazy? Does she suffer from depression or some other illness that is making her unable to work?
    If there is nothing wrong with her, maybe she should be reported to CPS since the girl is still underage?
    sukainah

    Answer by sukainah at 9:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would suggest to the older friend that it's time for her/him to play hardball, write out a contract with the tenants, etc. The situation obviously isn't working for them.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 9:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would stay out of it, especially since the other friends asked that you not say anything to the mother. It may make matters worse.
    Aries46845

    Answer by Aries46845 at 9:27 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Sounds like elder abuse to me. If she's no longer capable for standing up for herself, someone needs too.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

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