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How can there dad be so selfish?

I thought a dad that's actually in there childrens life, would want to talk to them before they get locked up? My kids' dad gets locked up today, granted it's only for 10 days, but he won't even call to talk to my oldest dd. She's been crying to talk to him for 3 days now. I've left messages, and i'm at my wits end! I've cussed him out and said if he doesnt get his priorities straight, I will get them straight for him, i'm so sick of his a**!

Would it be right to just not contact him anymore, we have court Feb. 7th for custody and visitation, so I guess I can use that as ''evidence'' if he doesn't call at all, i'm always the one asking him to take my girls for visits, he never does! I'm just sick of it! I wish I could choose a different baby daddy, but keep the same perfect 2 beautiful little girls.

 
knicole0708

Asked by knicole0708 at 9:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 23 (17,012 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Maybe he's embarrassed and doesn't know what to say to them.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Becoming a father does not change a man. My guess is that he's always been a very selfish man, and either you did not see it or you chose to believe that he really wasn't so bad. I would try to look at this as positively as I could. Maybe it's a good thing he's not contacting them before he goes to jail. I don't know what he did, but it obviously was not a good thing that he did. So maybe it's best that your girls don't have contact with a man who is a thief, or a drunkard, or a fugitive of whatever kind. The other thing I would do is to start now teaching my girls to learn from my mistakes. I would tell them that they need to wait for a man who is ready to have a wife and family no matter how long that takes and not to settle for a man who was selfish like their daddy. Blaming him and being angry at him is not going to help you nor will it help your girls. Being honest with them might help them make better choices.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • He needs to get his life together before he can start acting like a daddy. I guess, maybe you can try to wait and see if he contacts them. It's just very sad for your girls to not be able to see him. I wouldn't keep them from their daddy, just let him make the move to see them, but let him know that they miss him...then the ball is in his court..
    sukainah

    Answer by sukainah at 9:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I tell him that all the time, I always contact him to see when he's going to take them for visits, I always ask him to call and talk to my oldest dd because she cries "i miss my daddy" he NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER, did i mention NEVER..calls to talk to her! Or even check up on her, EVER!
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 9:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • That's really sad. He's not mature enough to realize the 2 beautiful gifts that he has been given and how much he will feel like a loser when he realizes it and has lost it. Sad Sad Sad
    sukainah

    Answer by sukainah at 9:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Crafting - he's not embarrassed, this isn't the first time he's been in jail. She just wants to talk to him, she's only 2, she doesn't understand what jail is. For Pete's sake....i'm trying to be mommy and daddy, but unfortunately, i'll never be daddy.
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 9:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • @CraftingMama...I was kind of thinking the same thing, maybe he is so ashamed of himself and can't face his kids because he's going to jail...but it seems this is a constant thing
    sukainah

    Answer by sukainah at 9:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think he isn't healthy for your babies better just to let him be until he decides that he actually wants to be a part of their life.
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 9:26 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Nanny - you're right, but my kids are only 2 years and younest will be 1 next week.....they don't understand. Just a simple conversation is what she wants to have "hi dad, how are you, hows the puppy, i miss you, i love you" she can't have a full blown out convo. i've been asking him to call for 3 days now!!!!! i'm so angry, every time he gets a new gf, he thinks my kids drop off the planet, i'm so sick of it!!! ='( i think i'm going crazy!
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 9:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Do yourself and your kids a favor, lose the loser! You are better off without the hurt he puts the kids through.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

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