I'll try to keep this short. I have been married 12 years. My father-in-law and I have been on the outs since the day before my wedding. Our biggest problem was 5 years ago when my husband had an episode. While visiting the in-laws Hubby collapsed and had some sort of seizure, which he has no history of. His mother and I could not bring him to consciousness and FIL (a trained EMT) could not be found. I made the decision to call 911 (and of course in a small town the operator knew who we were). While I was on the phone with 911 Hubby came around and was lucid and said that he didn't need an ambulance. The operator said to call back if anything changed. We got back to our day. The police came to check that everything was okay. FIL stands in the driveway talking to them for 20 minutes. I was in the garage, had both of my daughters in my arms, helping them into the car. The police left. FIL charged me, pointing his finger in my face and screaming! He called me stupid and said I needed to grow up and assassinated my character in 1/2 a dozen other ways...all with my girls in my arms crying. I never raised my voice, but I told him he needed to stop and that I did exactly the right thing because we couldn't find him and we didn't know what to do. When he advanced and got louder I said that I hoped he had a good day at the lake because the girls and I were staying behind. I turned and walked away, him screaming obscenities all along. My husband was still disoriented and just kept saying, "Dad, this is stupid. What are you doing?" My mother-in-law heard the commotion and came out as I was getting in the door. Her husband continued his tirade toward her and Hubby. He said that if they thought I did the right thing then they were stupid too. There was never any apology, never anything. FIL just goes on like nothing ever happened (like he always does). MIL wants me to act the same way, but she admits he was wrong. Hubby is very upset with his dad but pretty much expects me to "be the bigger person." We haven't visited his parents in 5 years. They come to our house every spring. Every year it gets harder and harder for me to "hide" in my own house for several days just to stay away from FIL and keep the peace. This year I decided I am going to check into a spa or stay with a friend during that time. That way, everyone gets to enjoy their vacation and I don't have to worry about another blow-up in front of my children, and they don't have to see their mother acting like a basket case. Hubby is upset over having to explain my absence to his parents. I couldn't care less what he tells them, though the truth seems good. He and his mother refuse to mention and enforce that the in-laws stay in a hotel because FIL will react badly (poor little baby). This seemed like the only option left...within the realms of the law...Is this unreasonable?
Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by zebbiebug at 9:43 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
That does not sound unreasonable at all if someone offended me like that I wouldn't forgive them so easily if they are not even willing to apologize that's just shitty.
Answer by bhoward87 at 9:45 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by Bmat at 9:46 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 9:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by MizLee at 9:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:50 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by StefInfection at 10:04 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 10:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2011
Next question overall
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What would you do...would really appreciate some imput here. In JFF for more...