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how did you get your dh to open up more in the bedroom? adult content

my dh seems so plain and we keep things that way. i've tried talking and asking him if he wants to try this or that and he doesnt seem to be interested. i'm wondering if he "acts" like he isnt interested because if he thinks i will be turned off if he says he is. idk? but here lately he really has no sex drive and its killing me so i want to turn things up a notch. should i just throw it on him without asking if he would like to do things that i have in mind. (nothing to crazy) I really don't know what to do..

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Asked by shay1130 at 10:12 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • how old is he?

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:13 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • 34

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 10:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My husband is the same way and also around the same age as your husband. Maybe there is more going on? I finally got mine to agree to go to the doctor because I think there are other issues there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Well, I wouldn't think that this was an age related issue. Of course, I tend to look at the clinical sides of things first.
    Like low testosterone levels, depression, diabetes, hypertension, vascular problems, and thyroid disorders. If he really has no explanation of why he isn't interested I would recommend some testing. At 34 he should still be very active. So my guess would be something like thyroid or anxiety over daily stresses. GL

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My husband if anything has always been TOO open in the bedroom. lol But yeah, try some new things without asking (start very slowly so you can gauge his reaction). I dated one guy who was pretty vanilla in the bedroom and I thought he was happy that way until finally one day he made an offhand comment about something and I realized he was open to trying new stuff. Being as I'm fairly adventurous I introduced some new stuff and he was VERY happy, but I don't think he ever would have suggested any of it and if I had he might have said no.

    Answer by missanc at 10:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think that the best thing for you to do, no matter what age he is is to ask him wahts going on. My hubby and I are very sexual. But he has been going through a rough patch lately turning 32 and his sex drive isn't what it used to be. I have to do most of the motivation to get him started, but in the end it always turns out great. I suggest u make the first move on him with something a little new and then go from there. If it doesn't work then maybe you all should try counseling. My husband and I are both military and believe me we have had alot of counceling. It isn't always a bad thing.

    Answer by Danielle103104 at 10:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • what kind of doctor..just a regular physician? i was wanting him to go and have his sperm checked too but i really think there is more going on like you say

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 10:20 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I have been married for 21 years and still trying to get him to do more in the bedroom. He was raised thinking anything sexual was "bad". He giggles like a school girl when we go into the adult store because of it, it drives my nuts!

    Answer by pennycandy at 10:20 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I'm lucky to have a husband that says what he wants, but I often wish he would be more adventurous.

    Have you considered timing things so you're doing things like vacuuming, or cooking in the nude and he'll come home and see it?

    If he's not showing interest in things you're suggesting, I think maybe he needs some breaking in, I agree with the idea to just go ahead and try something. He may not be up for it right now, but maybe it will help break the ice- good luck!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Usually the man is the more open one in the bedroom. I know my hubby is always trying to get me to do things in the bedroom.
    sounds like it could be a medical issue. Just make an app. with his Dr.

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 10:34 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

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