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How long after a divorce is it okay to have a teen meet your"friend".

I just recently found out that my ex's "friend" was over (don't know if she slept over) but was there in the morning making pancakes. Since my divorce ( about 7 months ago) my son has had some issues with the break up. He's in his teens but I still don't think this was appropriate. What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Doesn't matter. Dad gets to decide that.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • 6 months i think,,,,

    Answer by gardenchic at 11:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I really hate parents introducing their 'friends" to their kids. If it is not a fairly serious relationship they shouldn't be around your kids no matter the age. In my opinion.

    Answer by treynlisa at 11:27 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Lol, it's been six months since the divorce, but that doesn't mean this hasn't been going on for a long time. Maybe they are serious.
    And just to clarify, on the surface, I agree it doesn't seem appropriate.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Both of my parents were engaged to other ppl before their divorce was even final, so 7 mos sounds fine to me.

    Answer by KairisMama at 11:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • There is no specific time but it shouldn't be before the new relationship has gotten very serious. I can't stand when single parents parade their "bed buddies" through their children's lives.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 11:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Gee, I waited 4 1/2 years! I dated a lot before I was serious enough about a guy to introduce him to my kids. But he never slept over. Of course, he just broke up with me :(. So I guess I shouldn't have introduced him after all!

    Answer by Inloveagain at 12:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think the first response was a bit harsh... but you really dont have much control.

    BUT I think it is worth talking to dad about... be nice... do your best to talk calmly and don't threaten or accuse.  The father is giving your son a bad view of being single and treating woman poorly.  With that sort of male role model your son is more likely to start sleeping around at a young(er) age.

    BUT you must also not have "friends" over.  The children of divorce really have NO need to meet a "friend" until the relationship is VERY serious bordering on marriage.  At that point an introduction is appropriate.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Since you are talking about a teen, and not a small child I see no issue. Surely a teenager can understand their single parent dating. I understood when my parents dated after divorce. I wanted them happy, and we had good communication. They didn't need to hide their dates from me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I can tell you that you can amend your visitation agreement to state that no "friends" of the opposite sex can spend the night while your child is at his father's house. My SIL dealt with this when she was dating her now husband. The custody agreement between her husband and his ex-wife stated no opposite sex over night guests. So she would pack up and stay with her parents for those weekends. They ended up with permanent custody because ex-wife repeatedly broke the agreement and the last time was with a police officer who brought his gun into the house and that was another written "no-no" - no guns in the house.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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