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Military wives or anyone who may know question regarding Tricare/Deers??

Hi I have a child with a military member. He has a wife who doesn't live with him nor belives that this is his child. He lied about our relationship and denys our son, she of course being the dutiful spouse belives him. She lives over seas and they do not share bank accounts but she is on his medical. My question is how long is he going to be able to hide the paternity of our son or can he really beable to hide this just as he has been doing? I am in the process of enrolling our son onto his medical through a court order. Just curious? Thanks


Asked by momof4303 at 11:20 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Money & Work

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Answers (7)
  • cont

    Now, adding the child will get you health care, etc. But, honestly, this doesn't mean that he's going to "man up" and admit the child is his, or that he's ever going to take responsibility for your baby. It also doesn't mean that his wife is ever going to accept it. For one thing, it depends on how much his wife is aware of the process / what she can see, what the regs are, etc... He could have her convinced that "he was screwed over" by you for yrs, even with the DNA test proving paternity. It doesn't mean that he will have to admit it to her, kwim?

    Trust me on this - I'm prior military and I'm a military wife (all told, I've been doing this for 20 yrs), and I've spent a lot of yrs helping military families navigate things like this.

    good luck!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:38 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If she looks at DEERS than she will see the child added. He will have to add the child himself though. Some wives don't realize you can look into DEERS online though.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • if he is denying paternity and you are pushing to get his military medical care, chances are the military or the court system will do a dna test to confirm paternity. sorry that you are going through this and i hope your son gets the medical care and other things he deserves from his father. good luck!

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • The child's name, SS number and relationship to the servicemember are all listed on a graph on the tricare website also. You have to have mypay login info though. She should also see the CS is taken out of his check.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Well she can she it but there isn't anything she can do about it. The court wont order a child to be place on anyone insurance unless it's proven he's the father. So she is just stupid if she still doesn't believe it after the child is added.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • To my knowledge and being prior military with dependents myself, no military member HAS to put their dependents into the Tricare system. I have however, been out for a few years, so I don't know what the new Obama care plan says about that, so things may have changed. Your best bet might be to call Tricare and ask them.

    Answer by gumby11883 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Actually, with all due respect, while you don't have to put them into Tricare exactly, what you DO have to do - and it is NOT something that he can withhold or deny, is to have them enrolled in DEERS. And, enrollment in DEERS will basically automatically enroll them in Tricare. You will then have 3 choices of Tricare (which is too in depth to get into here, but the Tricare office will be able to explain it to you). If you live near a military base, I would suggest Prime - that means you go on base for your medical care, etc, and has the least out of pocket cost for you.

    If he is denying that the child is his, you will need to get a court ordered paternity test. Then, once you have proven that he is the dad, you take that to Base Legal. He will HAVE to add the child.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2011